Do we sit down with a cup of a generic warm beverage and conclude anything else, other than the fact that life is hard? Well, no, that's not how life works anyway. It's hard, we complain. We get over it. It's hard again, we complain.

Rinse and repeat

There are no two ways about it and it's just something that you have to learn to deal with over the course of experience in life. But that doesn't make it any easier. We just learn more effective coping mechanisms. Well, sometimes.

It's often said – and I've experienced this on multiple occasions – that the breakdown comes right before the breakthrough. Often even in a matter of hours or overnight.

Suddenly you have clarity and perspective, which is necessary to view the problems of life with a little more emotional balance. Or at least, some.

Love isn't pain. Life isn't pain. Those two things aren't just the facts of life. We know that there are good parts in life, so so many. We can't settle into the worldview of a cynic so early on in the year.

There are sufferings associated with life and love – that goes without saying. If we didn't feel the pain, we wouldn't feel anything at all. So we just have to accept a little pain, well – a lot.

But the payoff of joy is even higher if we allow ourselves to feel more

It's the most important skill to learn how to deal with – disappointment. When you're stressed with life and ready to give it all up and stop trying, that's when you need to have the courage to struggle and power through.

Love isn't immaculate. But it is enduring. And tends to prevail above all else.

When there's so much in this world that we can't control, love is something that can be relied on. If nothing else, for its sheer unpredictability and power.

It must be noted that because no one is perfect, and I mean who really knows who they are or what they want. In this world – it's easy to have over-inflated expectations.

And have those expectations unmet without necessarily knowing why. That's where it's important to know that love is tough. But, if you want it to be worthwhile, you have to put yourself out there.

Agonizing, I know

We want to be unknowable and mysterious but also have every single need met and anticipated. I can't have it both ways, but we also can't expect the people around us to be mind readers.

No matter how much someone loves us, it's tough to always know what the other person is feeling. That doesn't change. You just have to trust your instincts.

As soon as you know more about yourself and assess your own experiences, you can know what makes you happy. Then, you can pursue it and actually feel more in control of your love life.

Imperfections are what we love most in other people, so it's also okay to have them yourself! Let yourself be imperfect. It often takes loving an imperfect person – which is tough, don't get me wrong – to realize that we're all flawed.

And that that's okay

We're all muddling through this tough life together. Some more bravely than others. Just because you are busy doesn't mean that you're living your best life or even a life you value.

Reflect on that, and think whether you are living your life or someone else's. Make the tough decisions and unpack what you truly love out of your life. Get rid of the dead weight.

Cut back. You can operate with less clutter than you think – emotionally and materially.

Make the tough decisions about love, and you will feel ready to embrace life like yourself.