I thought my entire world had come to an end, as quite simply put, you were my whole fucking world.
My heart shattered into a billion pieces. I cried for days. I hit rock bottom, there was no other place to go except up, but I wasn’t ready to go up.
I ignored the 100’s of text messages and phone calls from family and friends, I just wanted time to myself. I needed that time to come to terms with what you had done.
Then just as I start to pull myself up off the rocky bottom what did you do?
You made contact!
You tell me you’ve made a mistake.
You tell me you’ve changed.
You tell me you love me.
Then you sent the damn flowers.
Listen carefully motherfucker as I have some important news for you.
This woman is so sick of your shit, I’m tired of all the empty promises and the oh so many lies.
I wish there was a whole new word for relationships that are ‘over’ as over really doesn’t cover it.
This isn’t me trying to hurt you in retaliation, I’m not like you in that aspect.
This is me looking after me!
It took me a long time to pick myself up, you caused me so much pain and countless sleepless nights, I’m not going back there do you hear me?
I’m looking at our break up in a positive way.
It opened my eyes in so many ways and I learnt a lot.
I learned that I have so many people looking out for me who truly care for me.
I learned I don’t need you or any other man for that point of fact to complete me.
I learned that you will never change, but I saw myself change from who I was with you and I love the new me.
Now don’t get big headed when I say this, but it’s true our relationship was amazing, (in the beginning). I have so many happy memories of us, trust me I will never forget those times. You made me so happy.
But, I’m not that person anymore.
This woman will not tolerate your bad temper, your mood swings, your constant need to have your ego fed, how could I have been so blind to all of that?
I put up with so much bullshit from you, constantly clearing up the mess you made of our lives, making excuses for you. Again, how could I have been so blind?
You will never be able to hurt me again, ever.
The fact you thought you could just walk back into my life by making contact says everything really doesn’t it?
You asked me ‘How are you, do you want to meet for a drink, I’ve made a mistake?’
How fucking dare, you attempt to enter back into my life.
Did you think I’d drop everything and run back into your arms?
To answer your question of ‘How are you?’
I’m good thanks, in fact I’m more than good, I’m fucking amazing. Thanks for asking.
I love myself again, I love this world we live in, I love life.
I hope one day you find what you are looking for, but you won’t find it here with me, all routes to this woman are now closed to you.