Sometimes words can sting more than a slap in the face. They leave you questioning who you are as a person and leave you feeling drained of all emotions, good and bad. You didn’t have to lay a finger on me, you hurt me more than fists ever could.
You think you are a good guy because you didn’t raise your hand to me.
Well, guess what? You still left me broken on the inside. Your words cut like a knife every time you opened your mouth.
This wasn’t love, this was verbal abuse.
You liked having that kind of control over me, didn’t you? You liked telling me who I could talk to and who I could be friends with. I could only be friends with people who didn’t see through you. So, I slowly lost myself to these people. Soon I had no friends to speak of. Nobody to counteract your abusive words.
You were smart, I’ll give you that. You made sure that I couldn’t leave you. You gave me no access to money. MY money. The money I earned by supporting us. You only let me go shopping for you and you would track all of my spendings.
Even if my family wanted to contact me, they couldn’t. You took all of the email-addresses, deleted my emails, and monitored my phone calls. You cut off contact because you knew I would call out for help. And you knew they would do anything to help me.
You were smart but I was smarter. I had my plans.
I knew you weren’t the voice of every person out there. I knew that what you said to me about my looks and everything about me wasn’t true. You just used it to beat me so far down into depression that you thought I wouldn’t be able to pull myself back out. You almost won.
Almost. But I still had some fight left in me. Where it came from, I do not know. You tried your best to take all of my will away but you failed. You couldn’t break me.
What you didn’t know was when I’m done, I’m done.
There is no going back. Your words cease to mean anything to me. You can throw me all the lines you want. You can beg, you can plead. But when I’m done, I can’t hear you. Your words cease to exists and so do you.
Your power over me is gone. You will never get it back. Now you will see me rise again to be the woman I was meant to be. Only this woman knows how to survive. This woman knows who she is and knows she can defeat anything that comes in her path.
If anything you made me stronger. So, I thank you for that.
Now you get to see me live to my potential and you will never have me back in your clutches. I’m sure that kills you a bit on the inside. Just like you tried to kill me on the inside. Good. I’m glad you know how it felt.