Having been in the same position in the past, I understand how you feel. I could feel nothing after being completely drained emotionally. Not pain, not joy. Nothing. Life was just a numb existence for me. The glow that was once in me had gone out.
I was well aware of my state, and my one question was; “how the hell did this happen?” I pondered and wondered who I was, but no answers were forthcoming.
My soul felt spent.
And then it occurred to me – I was so emotionally drained because I had given away so much of myself. This can happen when you go out of your way to make someone else happy. In this effort, you forget that you need to be happy as well.
You keep up appearances when deep down, you are falling apart and nobody realizes it. People only see your strength, because that’s the front you have put up. And nobody bothers to help, because it’s not apparent you need the help.
There is only one person you can truly count on – yourself.
Your soul tires, because you forgot yourself. You drained yourself dry.
You forget that you sometimes need time for yourself to pamper yourself, to recharge and let yourself gain some strength.
You have given your energy and your strength to a lot of people who did not deserve it. Your heart went out to people who deserved a lot less.
People give you their worst, and you help them out because you see the best in them. You invest so much in someone based on what they could be and not what they are, and it weighs heavily on your emotional and psychological wellbeing.
And so now, loneliness has become your friend. You think it will be alright someday, that someone will reciprocate the efforts you make, and give you the love you give.
But you are tired of waiting. You are slowly losing hope.
However, here are a few things that might help.
1. Say yes to change.
Don’t hesitate to try out new things. You could try something new every weekend. Take up a course, ride a bike, meet new people… do something new. Live!
2. Let go of the toxic people in your life, and keep the good ones close.
Surround yourself with good people; the kind that make your life lively and vibrant. At the same time, let go of those who drain you emotionally and fill your life with toxicity.
Let your life be full of love and positivity. These happy souls may not take up your battles, but they will give you the support and the love you need to overcome these challenges.
3. You may be tired, but you are still alive.
You are at a dead end, but you are not dead. You can turn things around. Although it won’t happen in an instant, it can be done. There will still be ups and downs, but you will be happy.
4. Don’t make other people’s happiness your responsibility.
You have no responsibility to make someone happy, and nobody has a responsibility to make you happy. You don’t have to be there to solve their problems.
You have your own life, and they have theirs. Being there for them in every way possible does you more harm than good.
You can help when you can, but it should not cost you your peace of mind and joy.
5. Take time to heal your spirit.
When you have a tired soul, even your spirit needs to heal. If you are the religious type, you might find comfort in talking to someone who shares your faith. Finding meaning in a force greater than yourself can do wonders to your wellbeing.
You can also meditate, it is helpful to feel calm and renewed. But the most important thing is to find a way to relax.
6. Share with someone who might help.
Keeping all the stuff bottled up inside is one way to tire out your soul. It makes you look strong when you are falling apart on the inside.
You can talk to someone. They don’t even have to say anything or offer any assistance. Having the chance to say everything out aloud may be all the therapy you need to feel better.
If you need professional help, you can see a therapist.
7. Don’t forget that you come first.
There is nothing wrong with putting yourself first, even if it might not feel right after years of not doing it. You cannot care about others without first caring about yourself. To give, you need to have. So, love yourself, take time for yourself, recharge, and you will have something valuable to give others.
You should get the love you give, the respect you give, and the acceptance you have towards others.