We love a friendship moment. Community. Nostalgia. Fun times and distractions.
We all need that ‘I am not okay’ safe space friend. Having your mum or dad or sister on speed dial is one thing. Having your old primary school best friend across the world might not cut it anymore. But your person – some version of a platonic soul mate maybe – needs to be there to recognise and truly see you. To listen to you and actually hear what you’re saying. Who counts down the days to your birthday so that they can give you really thoughtful presents and a card that will make you cry.
But yes, I know we promised madly to each other that we’d call every night and visit every weekend when we went to university. It was harder and harder to keep up with each other. We made new friends, got new hobbies, and found different interests.
Dare I say, we grew up.
That didn’t mean that we necessarily grew out of each other, per say, but all the things we used to do together were now a product of a past era. That’s not to say that we couldn’t have restarted things with a more realistic outlook, but that always seemed like an impossibility, a clashing of two worlds. The worlds weren’t incompatible anymore, but they just didn’t flow as effortlessly as they used to.
Moreover, it’s the old saying – opposites attract. This is true of lovers and this is true of friendships too. Sometimes you need a healthy amount of distance and different to keep things interesting and to stop you both from merging into each other. That’s no use to anyone! Ideally, you would have the perfect blend of a headstrong and impulsive individual with a more reserved, careful character – with various other attributes in between – so that you can learn to let loose with each other and be goofy, while also being able to plan trips and have a responsible time.
Get you a best friend that can do both!
But, there’s always time to fix the issue of time. It’s never too late to fix a friendship that has just been neglected a little. Here, the interesting and fun thing to do is to update each other on the more mature fixing of each other’s lives. Partners, jobs, degrees – there’s so much fruitful conversation sources there that you could probably spend hours catching up. You realise somewhere around hour three that you have slotted back into the past and feel just as natural with each other as you always used to.
This is a great sign of your compatibility and enduring friendship. It’s natural to go through periods when you can’t always make time for each other, but you will soon recognise that if the need arises, they will always be there for you.
At the end of the day, your best friend is your best friend for reasons that probably don’t compute in any sort of algorithm or checklist.
They are simply always there for you.
You call them when you have news because they are frankly the only person who knows that you were expecting news in the first place. They’re always on your mind. Be it in the form of a funny text, or a joke that they would have enjoyed. Or a meme that you just have to show them.
It’s all about showing that you know each other and love each other, warts and all. You can grow together in the relationship and come out more well-rounded and engaging individuals. Y’all can be honest with each other in a way that no one else can.
You have been there for them and they’ve been there for you.
They always give the best hugs. To feel the arms of the person you love around you – is there a greater feeling? It doesn’t even need to be romantic. Platonic and filial works just as well, if not better, because that is a sensation rooted deep into the boughs of who you are. Childhood and nostalgic comfort. Security. Safety. The sensation of feeling loved. All these hallmarks of emotionally complex realities that you took for granted when you were younger.
You know they will pick up your call or let you in if you come to their door crying. Hopefully. Often that knowledge is simply known, more still frequently, it is tested.
So, just in case I didn’t convey the message strongly enough in this love letter to my best friend…
I would be lost without you, and I’m so glad that we get to go through life together.