People grow apart all the time, and it does not typically turn their worlds upside down. Unless that person is your best friend, then that can be a tough pill to swallow. I can honestly say that growing apart from my best friend was one of the most trying experiences of my life.

Even though today I have great and awesome friends who are willing to stand by me no matter what, I still reminisce on a best friend I had to forget about.

When I think back, I can’t help but wonder if I was to blame for what happened. Sometimes I blame myself, and at other times, I miss you so much. But there are also times I get angry because you actually wanted this.

Still, I have my limits.

I will not go as far as dismissing the great moments we had together. They were beautiful, and the friendship we had was deep and meaningful. I cannot waste time pretending that we never were. You played an important role in my life, and the person I am today has something to do with the relationship we had.

There was a time I was so mad at you, but not anymore. I have no negative thing to say about you. I think none of us can hold grudges over this.

However, that is not to say I don’t often think about how things went down. I often ask myself, what did you see that made you leave behind the person you seemed so proud to call a best friend?

Was it because I hurt you? I wonder if you ever miss me.

You were so reluctant to tell me why you did what you did, and it was hard for me to accept that, but I have. Know that I still consider you the treasure you were in my life when our friendship was at its best. How could I not? Some of my best memories in life have something to do with you. When I recall them, I cannot help but smile.

And as I sit here, I hope that is your experience as well. That you remember how much we enjoyed life together.

But that aside, I want you to understand some things:

Know that I am truly grateful that you were in my life. You came through for me on multiple occasions when no one else would.

I have you to thank for the fact that I broke out of my shell.

I want you to understand that I still live by some of the advice you shared with me. I have not forgotten all about it.

In fact, I still talk about some of the experiences we shared together. They are just too good to keep to myself.

I think I spend more time looking at pictures of us from the past than is healthy for me.

Did you know that our friendship meant everything to me?

That is why your betrayal was the hardest thing I ever went through.

To this day, I have no idea why you decided to walk out of my life.

I want you to understand that you are not a bad person.

All I wish for you is happiness and nothing less.

But I still miss you. I really do.