Hattie 'Retroage' is a Tinder-loving Grandma and has been enjoying one-night stands for the past few decades. Hattie got divorced in her fifties and has been living it up ever since. You get it Gram!
Now, the 83-year-old mother of two and grandmother of three wants to use Tinder to settle down and find love with just one man.
Hattie used to find her lovers the old-fashioned way, but now is a big fan of Tinder. The app lets you swipe between potential suitors, so Hattie can browse a catalog of eligible bachelors at her leisure.
The Tinder-loving Grandma would have liked to find her Mr. Right on the app, but instead has been enjoying lots of short-term flings.
Unfortunately, as we all know, sometimes she won't hear from a Tinder date again. Clearly in this case, it's their loss.
Now, Hattie is searching for the right person to settle down with. She wants to find someone that turns her on, and that's just as turned on by her. This Tinder-loving Grandma knows what matters.
Hattie has learned a lot from her time on Tinder, and sees all the men she met as "good experiences".
Using Tinder has also helped Hattie see that men are people. She says she used to see them as 'potential hard d*cks or orgasm givers or g-spot geniuses'. (Phew! This Tinder-loving Grandma really is ahead of her time.)
Now, after reading their Tinder profiles and meeting them in person, Hattie sees these men as caring, compassionate, warm, and loving (aww).
Now that she's looking for the real deal, Hattie has her sights set on a toy-boy. The Tinder loving Grandma's ideal man would be sixty years old, as she wants lots of youthful energy and vigor (wink wink).
A Real Connection
Overall though, just like everyone else, Hattie wants a connection. About her time on Tinder she says, "I can't just keep saying yes to what I don't really want. I really want one man."
However, this Tinder loving Grandma isn't giving up hope.
Will she miss all the men from her days of Tinder fun? Wisely, she says, "It's not that I need variety, I need frequency. So if you have one man, you always have a d**k in bed with you or wherever it's going to be."
Get that long term d*ck, Hattie!