The first message you send can make or break you in the online dating world. These tinder conversation starters will help you get a response you were aiming for.
Why Are Conversation Starters So Important On Tinder?
Surely, you know what Tinder is. Since its launch back in 2012, the app became a center of attention for anyone who is too busy to look for dates IRL.
The premise is as simple as it gets: you see someone’s photo and maybe read a bit about them in their bio. Like it? Swipe right and hope they did the same.
Two right swipes create a match and it’s already a good sign – you guys have potential hots for each other. But here is where it gets tricky, because we ask ourselves: what’s next?
Some Tinder users retreat to self-absorbing silence and wait to get messaged. Others drop a simple line of “Hey, what’s up?” and end up in an ocean of similarly-minded.
Then there are the daring kind, who don’t hesitate to address topics that can be considered too intimate even on the fourth date. I mean, do you know anyone who was sincerely impressed by a “wanna bang” sans uppercase and punctuation? Exactly.
So what can we consider the best conversation starters for Tinder? These are the ones that leave you intrigued and wanting more, without hurting your feelings or making you feel objectified.
How To Start A Conversation On Tinder
First things first, you need to have a clear understanding of what your endgame is. In other words, Tinder conversation starters of those who are looking to hook up are going to slightly differ from the ones of people who are in it for a long run.
Slightly, but not too much. After all – we all go online to have fun and meet new, interesting people. If that takes us someplace else and puts a start to a fresh relationship – even better.
So, as you are thinking what would be the best conversation starter with someone you have just matched with on Tinder, consider taking a few moments deciding on how to approach them better. You can do it by:
Reading their bio – in many cases, people put a lot of work into that section. So, it only makes sense to get yourself familiar with what they’ve got to say and maybe find a connection point there.
Not judging by photos. I hope it goes without saying at this point, but there is no way to express an entire individuality through several selfies. Make sure, you don’t jump to conclusions based on the profile pic.
Considering the time. This is actually quite interesting – a lot of messages go unnoticed simply because they were sent at the wrong moment. Want to make sure you get acknowledged – aim for later in the day.
Trying not to cross any lines. Here is the thing, what was considered hilarious in 2001 will probably show up on the list of the most offensive things today. We are becoming more aware of each other and the overall struggle of humanity, so show it through compassion and respect.
Staying yourself. No matter how good you think a certain Tinder conversation starter is, make sure it aligns with your authentic personality. The least thing we can do is be honest with ourselves and one another at confusing times like these.
Best Tinder Conversation Starters For Girls
Since the majority of us here are identifying as female, I might as well address it now. Best tinder conversation starters for girls are the same as for anyone else.
You will get plenty of chances to express your femininity, but as you make the initial contact – focus on your more neutral, human side. Because, you might be surprised, but toxic femininity exists just as much as toxic masculinity.
These might include any hint on “treating you like the queen you are” or “showering you with roses and diamonds” during the very first conversation. Even if you think it’s funny – get a feeling of the room first.
If you do feel the need to specify your gender for whatever reason, you can always do it later in the conversation. And yes, you are absolutely a queen, just give them a chance to see it on their own.
Start A Conversation About Them
In fact, it is always a good idea to find out more about the other person before you start introducing yourself. People and I cannot stress that enough, love talking about their likes and dislikes.
Use this to your advantage – break the ice with a harmless “would you rather” question or a simple cute quiz. For example, ask them which movie they would choose to keep watching for the rest of their life if they could only pick one.
It does not necessarily have to be a complex joke or a line with some sort of agenda behind it. The straightforward genuine questions are also good. Just make sure you ask something that requires a bit more than a yes or a no for an answer.
Or take it one step further and create a small game out of it. Ask them a series of questions to go through a virtual adventure together. You can use questions such as:
You and I are going on a trip together. What location would you pick?
We can only bring our backpacks along, choose three items, aside from clothes, you can absolutely not live without.
We’ve reached our destination, where would you like to crash: a five-star hotel or a tent in the woods?
It’s time for dinner, what would you like to have?
Choose the top three songs for our road trip through the Rocky Mountains.
And so on.
If you are afraid to come off too strong – simply exclude yourself from the make-believe scenario and use questions like: “Where would you travel to right now?” or “How would you spend a three-day vacation in an unknown country?”.
This way you are both engaging a person to participate in a conversation and learning a lot about who they are and what they like. As a bonus, those answers can give you a good idea for the first-day setting, if that shall occur.
Funny Tinder Conversation Starters
Some might argue that a sense of humor is insanely personal. I say – humor can be universal, as long as it is not hurting anyone.
By default, that excludes cheesy pickup lines, such as “Well, here I am, what are your other two wishes” and “Hi, my name is Microsoft, can I crash at your place tonight?”. They might be funny, but they are also very presumptuous and pushy.
But don’t cut all the cheese out, if you feel like the situation is calling for some. “I think you might have something in your eye, oh never mind it’s just a sparkle” – is just the amount of cute and harmless we are looking for here.
Quoting a line from your favorite movie can also work well. Especially, if it turns out to be their favorite too.
Stay subtle with the way you joke and don’t hesitate to ask for an apology if they took it too harshly. Because no matter what your intentions on Tinder are – there is no reason to hurt anyone’s feelings.
Best Conversation Starters Tinder Or Not
A fruitful conversation is a two-way street. This means you need to practice paying attention to details and listening to everything the other person is saying.
Try to stay as light as possible, but take a more serious tone if your match is sharing something personal. Of course, it is a bit more challenging when you are texting, but I’m sure you’ll do fine.
Remember, the best conversation starters for Tinder are the ones that engage, entertain and don’t cross any lines. This can also be applied to any other conversation you are having online or in real life.
Speaking of crossing lines, avoid focusing on how people look and how hot they are according to your evaluation scale. Physical beauty is extremely subjective and sometimes even a compliment can be taken the wrong way.
Complimenting is important, but you need to base it on something you already know about the person or something very abstract.
For example, it is absolutely ok to say “You are a very interesting person” at the end of the conversation. But it would sound kind of ridiculous if you used it as a conversation starter on Tinder or elsewhere.
Aim for making genuine connections, even if your ultimate goal is to enjoy several brief moments together. Because the more we get to know people, the better we understand ourselves.
Great Conversation Starters Are Not Everything
Setting up for a good start is important, but it is also important to keep the same vibe throughout the entire communication process. That’s why we have covered being yourself earlier on – it will be simpler for you to follow through and really open up.
Get creative and come up with your own best conversation starters for Tinder. Who knows, maybe the next first message you send will put a beginning to a wonderful love story.