Few things could be as damaging to your self-worth and self-esteem as being in a relationship with a narcissist. That is why these relationships are not exactly easy to walk away from, because the bastard has convinced you that the hell of a relationship you are having is even more than you deserve.
It’s usually a long way from this toxic psychological state to realizing that you are not to blame for the way the relationship turned out.
When bad patterns become your habit, they become an addition, and that is how people end up holding on to narcissistic relationships for so long. You even long for the mistreatments, the insults, and the toxic behavior because that is all you know.
The worst part is that while some women have no problem realizing that they are in unhealthy narcissistic relationships, they hold on to the elusive hope that things will work out in the end; that the self-obsessed guy will somehow change into someone who cares about them as much as he does about himself.
There are even women who go further than this and try to do all they can to make the narcissist change his ways, but a leopard cannot change its spots, can it?
The most complicated part is that narcissists are well aware of your efforts, so they pretend that they are changing, and when you get comfortable with the impression that the narcissist is no more, bang! He switches back to his old toxic self, and you end up right where you started.
A narcissist is like a black hole, he simply sucks all the positive things and emotions out of your life, and you are left wallowing in despair, frustration, and hurt.
They desire to manipulate you and break you down into the person they want, and that woman is someone who thinks only about his needs, just like he does.
A time always comes when things have to change. At this moment, you have to muster every bit of courage you have to say enough is enough. But leaving a narcissistic relationship is simply the beginning. A few more hurdles await you once you have reached this milestone.
So, here is what happens when you finally leave these kinds of relationships.
1. He’s still not done with you
A narcissist preys on his victims ruthlessly, even when they try to get past their grasp. So, even after leaving, he will want you to feel worthless by making sure people know you were the reason for the breakup. He will not be above using social media to achieve this, all in a bid to make you look bad and to get people’s sympathy.
2. He will try to create a love triangle
Narcissists will stop at nothing to ruin your life. So even after you breakup with them, they will try to find ways you can meet so that he can make you jealous and reminisce of the relationship you had with him. So, you should avoid the places he frequents and even stay away from social media if possible.
3. You will get stalked and harassed
The narcissist will not understand that you left the relationship for your own good as normal people do. So, he will simply see it as a setback to his grand plan to keep you under his evil spell. He will stalk and harass you in the hope that you will get back with him.
4. He will blame you for everything
A narcissist is never at fault. It has to be all your fault that things never worked out. This will happen especially when he realizes that there is no chance you will ever get back together, just to make sure you know he was perfect and more than you deserve while you were to blame for every bad that happened in the relationship.
5. He will use guilt to make you stay
You cannot leave a narcissist, and it is not something he is wired to accept. When you leave, he will try to use guilt to get you back. This will include reminding you of the wonderful things you had together. You will probably remember that the good things he did had a hidden agenda. So, don’t fall for it.