Things Narcissists Say To Love Bomb, Devalue, And Manipulate You
Published in Aug 2020 / Updated in Aug 2021
Narcissism is a personality disorder that can ruin the life of anyone exposed to the manipulative tendencies narcissists use, such as gaslighting, hoovering, and love bombing. Many of the things narcissists say are specifically intended to put others under their control.
People with a narcissistic personality disorder will use a combination of words and actions to manipulate their victims and strip them of self-respect.
That’s why in addition to looking at weird things narcissists do, you also need to consider things narcissists say to avoid their sneaky traps.
These folks always have a hidden agenda behind their words. At one point, a narcissist will use very endearing words to get your trust, but at other times, narcissists use shame to control you.
So, let’s have a close look at things narcissists say.
Things Narcissists Say To Love Bomb You
Coming from the right person, these words can make you feel like the luckiest person in the world. But for a narcissist, these words are just a ploy to make you fall head over heels for them and turn into their hapless victims somewhere down the road.
We met through fate.
You’re my soulmate.
You are the best thing that ever happened to me.
Nobody understands me like you do.
You will know these words are coming from a narcissist's mouth when they are said a little prematurely.
With a normal person, you will get why they might say you are the best thing that happened to them. But for a narcissist, these precious words might be said to you a few days after you have met, leaving you somewhat confused at how fast the person has fallen for you.
And even if you have been together long enough to justify using these phrases, they will be totally out of context. In desperation, a narcissist might say how much you mean to them immediately after treating you like crap.
Phrases Narcissists Use To Make You Feel Worthless
What do narcissists hate the most? The feeling that you might be better than them. That’s why they are ruthless when it comes to making other people feel terrible about themselves.
Not even the covert narcissists want others to feel equal to or better than them.
So, here are things narcissists say to make you feel worthless.
You have no idea the kind of things I have been through.
If you did not do that, we would have a much better relationship.
You should apologize for that.
I’d explain it to you, but you would not understand.
You are making things up; that’s not what happened.
I am too good for you.
You should feel lucky to have me in your life.
Having these phrases used on you at your most vulnerable moment can make you feel worthless, and that’s something narcissists want of their victims. A normal person would never use their temporary position of moral authority to make you feel worse than you already are.
Things Narcissists Say To Manipulate You
Narcissists use these phrases to manipulate you into doing their bidding. In a normal loving relationship, these words are full of power and help create a stronger bond between you and your lover.
But for narcissists, these words are meant to subdue you and make you drop your guard before they go in for the kill.
You know I love you.
I really love it when you do this for me.
You are such an understanding person.
You are the best I ever had.
These are some of the things narcissists say to get you back or guilt you into doing something for them. With a regular partner, these words have no strings attached because they come from the heart.
Remember that one of the things narcissists don’t do is love others because they don’t even love themselves. So, be on the lookout for these sneaky things narcissists say to manipulate you and you will avoid a world of hurt.
Weird Things Narcissists Say
Some of the things a narcissist will say are plain weird. These phrases can offer insights into the undeniable fact that you are dealing with someone who does not have lots of emotional maturity.
Some common expressions of a narcissist in this regard include the following.
I don’t have feelings.
I never lie.
You made me do this.
I’m sure you have done something wrong too.
You are always wrong.
These outrageous statements are made by narcissists when they feel like you are getting too close to uncovering who they really are on the inside.
Usually, these are the kind of things narcissists say in an argument.
How Do You Outsmart A Narcissist?
Narcissists consider themselves smarter than everyone else, although they assure themselves of this by trying their best to make you feel dumb and worthless.
That is why you should familiarize yourself with some things narcissists say and learn how to counter them.
For instance, understand that there are some things you should never say to a narcissist because they act as triggers for the above manipulative phrases. When you say something like, “it’s like you don’t love me,” a narcissist will see that as a chance to love bomb you and get you to do something they want for them.
Similarly, if you say something that makes the narcissist feel like you are ashamed, the narcissist will use shame to control you, probably by trying to humiliate you.
More importantly, understand that a narcissist will use certain words and phrases to get a reaction out of you. So, if you don’t react as expected, a narcissist will have a hard time manipulating you.
The worst thing you can do to a narcissist is to ignore them. If you don’t bend to their manipulation, they will be frustrated and probably move on to more responsive victims.