We all feel the pressure, and we all want to spoil our best girl. But how? What is sufficiently Instagram worthy, economically important, but above all – meaningful? The thing is, you love her so much that the need for this to be a good date is caving in on the weight of its own importance.
It's not that life would be bad if you weren't in love, but let's face it, for those of us that seek emotional validation and support from others, it's the bee's knees. It's great to be able to give yourself to another person and be vulnerable, and of course, we still get that from friends and family, but there is something different. It changes how you perceive the world around you and impacts what you value. Everything is relative, but that's even more true when you're in love. Committed to another person and caring about their welfare above, well, most things.
You're not quite sure when it happened, but you fell
And you fell hard. You begin to view life through your partner's eyes. This doesn't mean that you merge into your partner and subsume their interests in place of yours (I hate it when my friends basically turn into their boyfriends whenever they get into a new relationship). No, what I mean is that you look at life aware of both your own perceptions but also with consideration to the implication on your partner. Essentially, if you see a hilarious Facebook post about three adorable dogs that were rescued off the streets, rather than smiling and moving on, you instead think, "Hey, (X) would love that."
Then, you tag them in the meme and ensure that your whole roster of Facebook friends can bear witness to your online PDA. Your ePDA, if you will. Or indeed, you may be out shopping, minding your own business, when you see a sloth tote bag that you know your girlfriend will absolutely die when she sees. Therefore you buy it and get ready to blow her mind later on. It's the big and the little things, but both are now reframed in the LoveLens. The world exists in relation to your lover.
Melodramatic, yes, but not incorrect
It's coming up to Christmas. Halloween has just been and gone, and all the department stores have been stocked to the nines with festive goodies for weeks now. I know it. She knows it. We all know that it's coming up to the prime gift-giving season. And with that season comes great pressure to pull out all the stops of fun dates for her to boast to her friends about.
Easier said than done.
But that's where I come in, lovelies!
1. Practice a genuine smile – a dazzling array of pearly whites will go a long way to clinching the interest of a passing chap. It's tried and tested, just as Elle Woods swears by the Bend and Snap (patent pending), the value of a charming smile cannot be underestimated.
2. Change it up a bit! If you normally go for a full-face of makeup, why not try going barefaced the next time you see your guy? Or, equally, if you are happy just chilling without make-up normally, maybe try a dash of eye-shadow or lipstick. If the guys have to make an effort, so do you! If not, why not go rogue with accessories or some eye-catching jewelry. It will catch the light and get their attention that way!
3. Feel confident in your own skin! Confidence is basically gold dust in mating rituals. When you've got it, guys can sense that and you immediately stand out from the crowd. Know yourself and then you can present to the men around you exactly what they want. Hint: it's you.
4. Play hard to get – just a bit. If you're normally a very punctual (obsessive) replier, why not leave their message for an hour or two. Or leave them on read (if you have the nerve and want to see if they're going to try again). Don't do this outside the bounds of politeness. You are trying to court him, after all. But don't convey that you're always available for him. It's a fact universally acknowledged that guys want what they can't have. Such is the way of the world.
Whip in some compliments too, when you can see that she's made an effort to impress you.
If you notice it, say something!
Her hair, clothes or shoes… even her body – so long as you are respectful-*/ and above all else, when you compliment anyone, the golden rule…
Mean what you say!
Don't just say things for the sake of saying them, or say things that you think she wants to hear.
Stick to your instincts and you'll be grand.