When you grapefruit your man, it's going to feel as if you're giving him head and f*cking him at the same time.
"Hey," I said to my boyfriend, "I need to do something weird to your dick later." I thought for a sec and added, "it's for work," as if that made it somehow better.
My boyfriend looked at me mischievously, smiled and nodded.
"It's called grapefruit blowjob… No, with an actual grapefruit." I added, assuming he thought it was some kind of euphemism. "I need to put a grapefruit on your dick."
"Whether there's a grapefruit or not, I'll be happy to get a blow job," he said, which is fair if I have ever heard one.
The grapefruit technique or simply "grapefruiting" involves cutting a hole the size of your boyfriend's or husband's dick into a grapefruit and using it while you're going down on him.
This new craze has been made legendary by a funny, charismatic sexpert called Auntie Angel. She's a Chicago-based sex expert who sells a line of sex-technique instructional tutorials.
But she has selflessly offered up her grapefruit blowjob YouTube tutorial for free. She claims, "I believe every man should be grapefruited."
Though there have been lots of Internet chatter about Angel's BJ technique, along with her media interviews, I couldn't find any first-hand social accounts of persons who had actually tried it. Was it because all of their boyfriends or husbands had died of pleasure?
Even so, Dr. Kat Van Kirk, a clinical sexologist claims:
"Men have said that it feels more like getting a blow job and having penis/vagina intercourse at the same time. There seems to be more stimulation all the way around."
I decided, for the glory of curiosity and the good of my fellow humans, to offer my boyfriend as a possible sacrifice. I selected the perfect (or would it be the "sexiest?") grapefruit, carved the hole, and went for it.
From a blower's perspective, it's profoundly weird to look down and see a grapefruit on your favorite boner. Plus, the grapefruit juices do run, so if you don't want to ruin your sheets and floor, lay down a towel first.
But the slippery texture is kind of fun to work with! And there is a huge perk to this technique for women who don't like giving BJs: If it's the smell or taste that turns you off, the grapefruit scent and flavor is appealing. It's like going down on a grapefruit popsicle. This makes "grapefruiting" much more pleasant than a regular blowjob.
Cleaning issues aside, the grapefruit blowjob is an absolute winner. He described the pulp's texture as vagina-like. The grip of it on his penis felt more "natural" than the standard blowjob.
As a woman, licking a penis that tastes like a delicious fruit is more exciting.