Experiencing love can be a wonderful thing, but it can be difficult to know for certain if you've truly felt it. It's possible to have strong feelings of attraction or infatuation towards someone, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's love. Here are seven indications that what you experienced wasn't genuine love:
1. You fall in "love" very quickly
You may have experienced intense feelings after just a few dates and found yourself daydreaming about a future with this person, complete with a Pinterest board for your wedding. However, it's essential to slow down and not mistake these initial emotions for genuine love. It's important to take your time and avoid rushing into things, especially if you're seeking a meaningful relationship.
2. You fall in "love" often
If you claim to have been in love with every one of your boyfriends, it's unlikely that you've truly experienced love with any of them. Unlike a reality TV show like "The Bachelor," love isn't something you should feel for every person you encounter. Love is a rare and profound emotion, and feeling it for every guy who comes into your life is unlikely. However, this is just my perspective, and you may be someone who can genuinely love multiple people in the same way.
3. You focus on the physical
Do you have a crush on that attractive guy at the gym who doesn't even know your name? Perhaps you find yourself drawn to his physique, his smile, or his impressive strength. However, love is much more than just physical attraction. You don't really know this person, so it's unlikely that what you're feeling is love. It's more likely to be lust, which can be easily confused with love. Remember, looks and physical attributes fade over time, so it's important to recognize the difference between lust and love.
4. You don't plan for the future
If you've been in a relationship for six months but haven't thought about your future with your partner at all, that's not a great sign. Even teenagers in their first relationships are often thinking about their future together, like prom or college. If you're dating someone, it's important to at least consider a future with them. As adults, it's crucial to plan ahead, and if you claim to love someone, it's essential to have a rough idea of your future together. If you've been together for a while and have no interest in planning a future with your partner, it's worth examining why that might be the case.
5. Communication isn't important
Constant communication isn't necessary in a relationship, but regular contact is essential when you genuinely love someone. It's natural to want to know how your partner's day is going, what they had for lunch, and what's happening in their life. If you can easily go days without speaking to your partner, it's unlikely that you truly love them. However, there may be exceptions, such as if your partner is working in a remote area without phone service or if they're out of the country. In those cases, regular letters or other forms of communication can help maintain the relationship.
6. You never bring family into the mix
I'm not suggesting that you should introduce your boyfriend to your parents as soon as you start dating, but if you're claiming to be in love with him and it's been a while, it's important to introduce him to your family. Introducing your significant other to your parents makes the relationship more real. If you don't introduce a guy to your parents, it indicates that you don't take the relationship seriously. It's likely that you know the situation is temporary or not long-term if you're not willing to take that step. If you're truly in love with your partner, you'll want your family to love him as well. But that can't happen if they never get to meet him.
7. You've never felt scared in a relationship
If you've never experienced a broken heart, it's likely that you've never truly been in love. Love can make you vulnerable and exposed. Being in love is like being naked all the time - it's incredible and comfortable, but also terrifying because all of your flaws and insecurities are exposed. You know you're truly in love when you're willing to take the risk of getting hurt. Avoiding pain in a relationship isn't necessarily a good thing - it's important to experience some hurt (although not all the time) to validate your emotions. Feeling that pit in your stomach pain is a sign that your feelings are genuine.