Whether it's a person you already know or someone you just met, it's essential to have a list of questions to get to know someone.
There are certain off-limit questions, but in most cases, the conversation tends to flow when you show a real desire to listen.
Apart from knowing what to ask and what not to, it's great that you communicate with your body language as well. Pay attention to the other person, look them in the eyes and lean in when they're telling you something you might think is essential to them.
When it comes to real life and social networks, questions to get to know someone is rather different because of body language, eye contact, as well as the tone of your voice. When you're texting, you don't have enough space for sarcasm, nor should you ask personal questions.
However, when you're face to face with someone, depending on the situation, you have a chance to get to know each other. Without emojis and always typing, "that was a joke" or "I was sarcastic."
Essential questions to get to know someone
It can be your love interest, or your new coworker, the rules are rather similar. If you just met a person, you want to keep the conversation light, without getting too personal.
Some of the most common questions include talking about weaknesses and strengths, the weather, traveling adventures, and pets.
The point of these small talks is to find common ground. Though they are similar to job interviews, your focus is on discovering where your interests meet and how to get them interested in talking to you.
Among popular basic questions are:
Where do you see yourself in five to ten years?
Would you rather live in the mountains or on the beach?
Any questions regarding TV shows and movies will do but avoid certain genres, like reality TV shows.
You can also talk about the best places to have dinner in the city or share the craziest things that happened to you when you were younger.
It's okay to crack a joke, but it has to be tasteful. If you're typically a funny one among your friends, you might think that it's a great icebreaker. But, not all people share the same sense of humor, and after the laughter, you may end up with nothing but silence.
Asking random questions isn't a difficult task, but getting into real conversation requires a lot of practice.
Intimate and deep questions
There's a fine line between privacy and intimacy. It would be best if you watched for the signals from the other person, so you don't allow yourself to cross their boundaries. Once you step into their personal territory, it may make them want to shut you down completely.
When it comes to questions to get to know someone you should avoid salary, sex life, as well as religion and politics, which can be tricky. But, you can ask about their life philosophies, hopes, or get into a playful mood.
Among the questions to get to know someone, the most popular yet profound ones can be entertaining as well.
You can ask a person about their favorite childhood memories, the best birthday, or what made them choose their career path. Additionally, feel free to ask where they would want to live or to describe their ideal Sunday morning.
Though it doesn't seem like much, these questions will get people talking. Some are nostalgic, others are amusing, but they give a lot of material to create a conversation.
You're not playing a game. Therefore, feel free to tell them about your experiences, as long as you're staying on topic.
You can't go wrong with questions about movies and music. They can create heated discussions, but you can also get a better look into a person's way of thinking, not merely their taste.
If you are struggling to get someone to talk, tell them a story. Something meaningful yet not too personal. Maybe they'll recognize themselves in your situation, so instead of answering, they'll simply continue where you left off.
Spiritual questions to get to know someone
While talking about religion can make things uncomfortable, spirituality is entirely different.
To truly get to know how someone thinks, or what are their views on the world, ask about their hopes and dreams. More specifically, talk about gratitude, your favorite color, and what it means in Feng Shui, second chances, and soulmates.
Spirituality is a broad topic, with unlimited sources for having meaningful conversations. From life after death to lessons from your friends, family, and past relationships, the possibilities are endless.
Since mindfulness and wellness are the hottest topics in the past two years, it's always good to hear how others feel about them. Additionally, you can move from meditation to exercise and dip into the world of food.
It's not so much about the questions themselves. Mostly, it's about showing the other person you are interested in what they have to say. So, your attention should be on them, meaning you're not supposed to play with your phone, yawn, and do other distracting things.
When you choose spirituality as your conversation starter, remind yourself that you're thankful for having a chance to be with that person at that particular place.
How to act when you're getting to know someone
It's human and perfectly okay to show that you're vulnerable. If you're nervous, that's fine; perhaps the other person feels the same way.
Ease into the conversation by starting with basic questions. But, remember that an interview or questions that are suitable for a professional setting can seem too aggressive on a date or anything casual. So, know your audience.
Don't forget to use follow-up questions and prompts to dig deeper. When you find out what they are passionate about, ask away. But, if you know nothing about the topic, let them explain it to you first.
Try to refrain from questions a person can answer with a simple yes or no. Rephrase it and leave them enough room to start talking instead of just nodding their head. For example, you don't ask, "do you like pizza." Instead, ask what kind of foods they prefer.
Finally, no matter how many questions you get to know more about someone you get to ask, some people will be too shy. Others will be too distracted to talk. Excuse yourself, because it's not your job to make someone talk.
It's impossible to prepare for every conversation. But, having a list of questions to get to know someone is helpful. You may seem more relaxed while paying more attention to the answers.
You can practice how to become a better conversationalist by picking certain topics and watching your posture.
Many think that talking is nothing more than part of our nature. However, the true art of communicating is something everyone should work on.