Funny

The Fishing Trip

The Fishing Trip
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Steve and his buddies were hanging out and planning an upcoming fishing trip. Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't go this time because his wife wouldn't let him.

After a lot of teasing and name-calling, Steve headed home frustrated.

The following week when Steve's buddies arrived at the lake to set up camp, they were shocked to see Steve. He was already sitting at the campground with a cold beer, swag rolled out, fishing rod in hand, and a glowing campfire.

"How did you talk your missus into letting you go, Steve?" "I didn't have to," Steve replied. "Yesterday, when I left work, I went home and slumped down in my chair with a beer to drown my sorrows because I couldn't go fishing. Then the ol' lady Snuck up behind me and covered my eyes and said, 'Surprise.' "

When I peeled her hands back, she was standing there in a beautiful see-through negligee, and she said, 'Carry me into the bedroom, tie me to the bed, and you can do whatever you want,' So, Here I am!"

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New Rod and Reel

A woman goes into a store to buy a fishing rod and reel. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the register.

A store employee is standing there with dark shades on. She says, "Excuse me, sir... can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says, "Ma'am, I'm blind, but if you drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes.

She didn't believe him but dropped it on the counter anyway. He said, "That's a 6′ graphite rod with Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line... It's a good all-around rod and reel, and it's $20."

She says, "That's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for, so I'll take it." He walks behind the counter to the register.

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In the meantime, the woman farts. At first, she is embarrassed but realizes that there is no way he could tell it was her... being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around.

He rings up the sale and says, "That will be $25.50." She says, "But didn't you say it was $20.00?" He says, "Yes, ma'am, the rod and reel is $20.00, the duck call is $3.00, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50!"

Gone Fishing

Alex had a terrible day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the fishmonger and ordered four rainbow trout. He told the
fishmonger, "Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?"

"Why do you want me to throw them at you?" asked the salesman?

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"So that I am able to tell my wife, in all honesty, that I caught them," said Alex.

"Okay, but I suggest that you take the salmon."

"Why's that?"

"Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to take salmon. That's what she'd like for supper tonight", replied the fishmonger with a grin.

The Ones That Got Away

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After a Tuesday fishing on the River Test, near Southampton in Southern England, Trevor is walking from the pier carrying two brown trout in a bucket. He is approached by a Water Conservation Officer
who asks him for his fishing license.

Trevor replies to the environmentalist, "I was not fishing, and I did not catch these brown trout. They are my pets. Every day I come down to the water and put these fish into the water and take them for a walk to the end of the pier and back. When I'm ready to go, I whistle, and they jump back into the bucket, and we go home."

Obviously, the officer does not believe him and reminds Trevor that it is illegal to fish without a license. The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "If you don't believe me, then watch," and throws the trout back into the water.

The warden says, "Now whistle to your fish and show me that they will jump out of the water and into the bucket."

The fisherman turns to the officer and says, "What fish?"