The Difference Between Having Sex And Making Love

The Difference Between Having Sex And Making Love

If there is one thing you know about the difference between making love and having sex, I would guess that it is the fact that one is physical while the other is emotional. Well, you are not far from the truth but there are more differences than the aforementioned.

The motive

The motive for making love is simpleā€¦Love. It is a way of showing the depth of your love to your partner. Such love is obvious in how you touch and hold him or her. There's no rush; no rough handling. The pleasure and comfort of each partner is foremost on each party's mind. What you feel for your partner is your motivation. It's about feeling loved, not just sexual gratification.

Having sex on the other hand is for the release. It is motivated by the desire to satisfy physical needs; a sexual need. Although this is just as physically pleasurable as lovemaking, the euphoria and sweetness that comes with being emotionally involved is absent.

Communication when in the act

The communication you have while making love shows that it's an art with an act, not an act alone. It is accompanied by whispering sweet nothings and admiring your partner and her body while being cautious of hurting her. The language employed in these expressions is often wholesome and romantic.

Communication while having sex though is quite different. It isn't exactly centered on deep-seated emotions. The conversations are focused on doing it right and making sure that you are pleasing each other. The language used in communicating is often raw and not so respectful. For some sexually active teenagers and adults, porn has served as their definition for lovemaking but its ideologies hold no respect and just fuel the instinct to have sex not make love.


Ever heard the saying, "the older the berry the sweeter the juice"? This is the case with lovemaking. As you both get to know each other better and grow together, you learn more about each other. You're better versed with favorite turn-on spots, acts best avoided, positions most loved, and so on. The art of lovemaking gets better and you don't get tired of your partner's body because making love isn't just physical. It is about deeply entrenched feelings that get stronger with time. Hence, your expressions of love through love making only gets better.

With just sex, you will eventually get tired of your partner's body. When what attracts you to him or her becomes less attractive, so will your desire. Sex thus becomes bland and tasteless. The search for a better, more appealing partner starts once again.


When having sex, you often want to put up a stellar performance. You want to ride hard and fast and most times don't value your partner's body as much as you should. You are often worried about meeting a virtual standard you feel you should meet or surpass or one you think your partner has set for you. But in lovemaking, you can be yourself. No fake moans, gasps, or orgasms. It's real it's true, it's love. I don't know if you'll agree but the way a man would use a sex worker compared to how he would treat his wife in bed explains to some extent, the difference between having sex and making love. It's all about the amount of emotions invested.

So the next time you have a sexual experience, you should be able to tell if you made love or had sex. But don't be so focused on deciphering which is which in the act that you miss out on the entire experience.