Published in Aug 2019 / Updated in Oct 2021
How many of you out there read your star sign predictions on a daily basis? Most people only look for the good things but what about the bad? Who's moody, who's stubborn, and who's a damn nightmare?
Find out below. Are you hiding your dark side?
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1. Aries' motto should be "Now! Now! Now!" They are the most impulsive and impatient of all the signs.
2. If it's not an Aries' idea, an Aries doesn't care about it.
3. Being the youngest sign in the zodiac, Aries can be really immature.
Favourite deadly sin: Wrath. It's straightforward, uncomplicated, and requires hardly any brainpower. Something that's useful for you. Just try to keep a lid on your road rage.
Romance: You're a notches-on-the-bedpost guy or girl who always needs to be told you're the best lover ever. Your affairs burn for, oh, several days, during which you are extravagantly possessive.
Friendships: You have rules for friends — do everything you say, admire your every action and never, ever criticise. You must be in control at every social event and get ragingly jealous if any of your friends do anything better than you.
Dream jobs: Explorer — so you can be the first and brag about it. Firefighter — finally, the chance to be a real hero.
Just don't be tempted to start the fires.
1. Possessive and materialistic, sometimes it seems like Taurus missed the preschool lesson on sharing.
2. Good luck getting a Taurus to budge in an argument. They are painfully stubborn.
3. Lazy and self-indulgent, it can also be tough to get them to budge from the couch.
Favourite Deadly Sin: Greed. 'I'll have them all, now' is your first thought as a rush of desire for new stuff fogs your brain.
Romance: Good men and women have suffocated from boredom in your bed. You resent any attempt to bring spontaneity or novelty to proceedings.
Friendships: There's a reason why the bull stands alone in a field. Partly it's your murderous, though rare temper, but mostly it's your obsession with money. After days of discussing your pension plans and investments, people lose the will to live.
Dream jobs: Property magnate — show you an unspoiled architectural masterpiece and you see identikit executive flats. Asset stripper — as you're so insensitive to other's feelings.
1. Geminis have so many different personalities, you never know who you're gonna get.
2. When talking to a Gemini, don't expect to get a word in edgewise. They love to hear themselves talk.
3. Slam poetry! Dance improv! Baroque architecture! Computer programming! Geminis have so many interests and hobbies they have a hard time committing to any one thing.
Favourite Deadly Sins: Only the one? You need two for each twin. Pride (you know you look good), lust (because it's fun), envy (of nice, shiny things), and greed. Greed is good.
Romance: You must never be bored in bed — woe betides a partner who doesn't keep you entertained. For you, romance is about being with one lover while flirting with the next two.
Friendships: Born to network, at parties you constantly look over people's shoulders, your radar on high alert for anyone prettier, more famous, or more likely to get you that job.
Dream jobs: Triple agent — you love to outwit people. Office gossip — there's nothing as satisfying as fawning and flattery.
1. It's no wonder the Cancer symbol is the crab. They're moody with a capital M.
2. Cautious and timid, it can take years to coax a Cancer out of their comfort zone.
3. Cancers are so sensitive that any little thing could offend them. This article, for example.
Favourite Deadly Sin: Sloth. The paralyzing immobility that comes when you let despair get you in its grip.
Romance: If you see someone you fancy, your strategy is to go into another room or ignore them in a pointed fashion so they do the chasing. That way, when it goes wrong, no one can jeer at you.
Friendships: You can relate to someone only if you feel needed. Clingy and manipulative, you're master of the 'mum maneuver' — using long silences, suffocating devotion, and mood swings to get people to do what you want.
Dream jobs: Agony aunt — so you can revel in vicarious suffering. Hermit — gloomy and you get to wear a hair shirt.
1. A Leo has never met a mirror they didn't love.
2. Beware of Leo's charms–if they want something from you, they'll probably get it.
3. Leo's need to be the centre of attention can be problematic. Do you believe that the world revolves around Leos? Because they sure do.
Favourite Deadly Sin: Pride. It's known as the sin from which all others arise and you just love to be up with the top people.
Romance: It's all about performance and applause. But you focus so hard on style, posturing, and execution, you fail to notice your partner has gone to sleep.
Friendships: Leos don't relate — they form alliances or allow themselves to be worshipped. A fearful snob, you ally yourself with people who make you look good — the powerful, important, or just plain rich.
Dream jobs: Monarch — what better way to boss others about? Megastar — finally, the love of the little people.
1. Proceed with caution when hanging out with a Virgo–you never know what they're going to judge you for.
2. Detail-oriented perfectionists, a Virgo won't even hear what you're saying if there's a crooked picture frame in the room.
3. Virgos are such pessimists that if they're feeling a little down, the world might as well be ending.
Favourite Deadly Sin: Vanity — insufferably pleased with yourself, cruelly critical of everyone else.
Romance: Just like the service of your car, you do sex by the manual. (Lucky partner!) And when asked afterward how it was for you, you deliver a comprehensive report.
Friendships: Want to know how you alienate people so thoroughly? It's the little things, like sneering at non-organic aubergine dip. What you want from a friend is a punchbag to pummel with general put-downs.
Dream jobs: Forensic accountant — nothing like endless, boring nitpicking. Censor — mixes prudery, perversion, and telling others what they shouldn't think.
1. Trying to make dinner plans with a Libra? You might as well wait for breakfast because it will take at least that long for them to weigh every possible option.
2. A Libra will abandon their own values to make everyone else happy and keep the peace.
3. Libra's fascination with beauty means they spend copious amounts of time prepping and primping to make themselves beautiful.
Favourite Deadly Sins: Vanity, greed, and sloth — Librans would find it impossible to choose just the one.
Romance: You flatter, you flirt, you make boudoir eyes at your prey, but you don't do unbridled lust because that would make you look sweaty and out of control. Besides, you're in it for the money.
Friendships: Out of sight is out of mind — you dump people regularly. That's because the love of your life is you, and only you.
Dream jobs: Fashion expert — though you'll make those more successful look ugly and foolish. Spin doctor — turning anything damaging into gold.
1. Don't dare wrong a Scorpio. They won't ever forget it, and they will make your life a living hell.
2. Scorpios' powers of manipulation can seriously mess with your mental health.
3. There's no such thing as a simple bad mood for a Scorpio – only an endless spiral into the depths of darkness and despair.
Favourite Deadly Sin: Lust. Lust for power, lust for money, lust for status, lust for revenge.
Romance: You may look like a Love God, a cave troll, or a librarian — it really doesn't matter because Scorpio magnetism has nothing to do with looks. To you, sex is power — you're always in control.
Friendships: Not a natural socializer, you have lots of acquaintances, but only a clawful of close friends whom you've chosen because they're loyal, non-competitive, and respect your authority. Most people are scared of you, so they do what you say.
Dream jobs: Secret agent — you can do anything to anyone. City analyst — second guess anyone and get filthy rich.
1. Sagittarians are honest and blunt to the point of being tactless and hurtful.
2. The term "know it all" was probably invented to describe a Sagittarius.
3. If it's not a new and exciting adventure, a Sagittarius is probably bored.
Favourite Deadly Sins: All of them really, but lust, greed, and gluttony dominate because you can't resist indulgence and extremism.
Romance: No one could accuse you of lacking enthusiasm, but not everyone can swing from a trapeze by their ankles in that nonchalant way you have. You fail to grasp that passion counts more than perspiration.
Friendships: Careless and indiscriminate (you prefer to call it open and spontaneous), you will relate to anyone, but not for too long because they might tie you down.
Dream jobs: Stunt supremo — the danger is your middle name. Mercenary — killing strangers is such a buzz, yeah.
1. Capricorns are so controlling that "letting go" and "going with the flow" are totally foreign concepts to them.
2. A Capricorn won't think twice about using someone for their own benefit.
3. Capricorns thrive on negativity–a quick chat about their bad day can easily turn into an extensive rant about everything that's ever gone wrong in their lives.
Favourite Deadly Sin: Avarice. A cold accumulation and insatiable hunger that sucks you dry from the inside.
Romance: It's Saturday night, time for your weekly bout of connubial unpleasantness, so it's on with the pyjamas and off with the light. Underneath it all you're as randy as anyone — you just won't admit it.
Friendships: You have given up on friends because they don't appreciate your help, even though your methods are clearly more efficient than theirs.
Dream jobs: Loss adjuster — so insurance companies can pay as little and late as possible. Politician — natural for a self-important status junkie.
1. Aquarians fancy themselves as objective and logical, which means they're often quick to judge.
2. They live so much in their own heads that they can come off as detached and overly formal.
3. Always eager to give advice, Aquarians often fail to understand what you're actually trying to say.
Favourite Deadly Sin: Perhaps sloth, because you can be a tad languid, or maybe pride — but then you are superior to everyone else.
Romance: Hang around at Star Trek conventions and you'll always get a date because there's always somebody who goes for the oddball.
Friendships: People think you're friendly because you hang out with so many groups, but that's because you need large statistical samples to make your data viable.
Dream jobs: Mad scientist — finally the chance to make a doomsday weapon. Croupier — dice are far more predictable than people.
1. Pisces' go-with-the-flow attitude can translate into a major lack of direction.
2. Spacey and aloof, Pisces often fail to notice the needs of others.
3. Although Pisces is supposed to be the oldest and wisest sign of the zodiac, they're surprisingly gullible.
Favourite Deadly Sin: Envy. You could've been a contender if only your parents hadn't held you back and everyone made your life a misery.
Romance: You love someone to take charge, but lovers shrink before the beady-eyed stare of the 2,000 cuddly toys in your boudoir.
Friendships: Quantity is the only thing that will absorb all your neediness, so you swim around with a huge school of acquaintances. Your nano-second attention span means you can't be bothered to work on existing relationships, so you're always looking for a New Best Friend.
Dream jobs: World dictator, the only way to make your fantasies a reality. Drug baron — it'll all go well until you start sampling the merchandise.