Most people claim that they need, desire a strong woman. But why, oh why, do some think they deserve us in the first place?
A strong woman is no longer a unicorn. We’re everywhere, loud, proud, always trying to be our best selves. We aren’t fantasies but real people, made of flesh and blood. This is where things get complicated.
Let’s try to unwrap the mystery of a strong woman by challenging the 33 biggest turn-offs a strong woman can find in the dating pool. It might seem like an odd strategy, but the point is to understand if a woman is looking, if she’s willing to give you her best, you should do your part.
Otherwise, you will lose her: her strength, energy, charisma, and all the faith she put in your relationship.
What It Means To Be A Strong Woman
A strong woman is emotional, often searching for answers in the wrong places, sometimes nervous, other times a bit irrational.
She’s not the best dressed all the time. Nor does she have all the degrees from the world’s most prestigious universities. So what is her secret?
A strong lady is humble, nurturing, full of love for herself and others. She respects people because she respects herself.
She is independent, but she knows when to ask for help. In a nutshell, she knows who she is and who she wants to be. Despite what life throws at her, she will bounce back.
Finally, strong women respect other people’s opinions, but they always follow their truth. Being yourself, despite all society’s norms, and treating others with kindness, is admirable.
That is what makes strong women so attractive, desirable. And that is why you want to know how to earn their love.
The biggest turn-offs for all strong women when it comes to dating
We have gathered a list of dating deal-breakers that will make a strong woman say “same.”
As for those who want a strong woman in their lives, know that every flaw can be corrected. If you wish to, of course!
#1. People who are just lazy
If you don’t have any ambitions, and your idea of fun is Netflix and chill forever, just keep on walking.
A strong woman deserves someone who is just as driven, ambitious as she is. Otherwise, she will have to push and push, and eventually, you will become a burden.
If you are too lazy even to make your bed, there is no way you will be able to keep up with a lady who is all about getting things done.
#2. Not knowing your audience
You might think you are being honest, but telling fart jokes to my mom is not funny.
Similarly, you should not use the same language in front of children as you do when you are with your friends.
Learn to read the room. It is not something a partner has to teach you. It is the most basic form of manners.
#3. Flirting in front of our noses
Do you really think that will make you more desirable?
Flirting with others shows that you are an insecure person. Instead of lust, your strong woman will feel sorry for you.
But, since she is not a social service, she will walk away into the sunset with someone who is not afraid of being in a real relationship.
#4. Talking down to people
If you are in a position of power, you should lead by example.
It is not preaching but common decency. If you like to talk down to people, it is a major turn-off.
It shows that you don’t have respect or that you might be a toxic person.
#5. Rude People in general
We all have bad days. However, if your temper is always on one side, that is just plain wrong.
Kindness is exciting; being humble is hot. And appreciating people is a way to get to a good woman’s heart. Being rude because an underpaid waitress mixed up our orders is the quickest way to get out of someone’s heart.
#6. People who are too much into themselves
If a woman is telling you about her day, yet you make it about yourself, you don’t deserve her.
Your fragile ego is keeping you from listening. Instead, you are stuck with “me, myself, and I.” Surely you understand that is not good enough.
#7. Liars, obviously
If you are lying to impress us, you are doing it wrong.
A strong woman is unapologetically herself. So, she won’t waste her time with a liar.
We can handle the truth and forgive a lot, but not lies.
#8. People who cause a scene
Some thrive on drama. But, a mature woman with goals and aspirations doesn’t need scenes to make life more exciting.
We all get it: you are bored. If you need to make a scene every time we are in public, the line has been crossed.
No rose for you!
#9. Passionate for… possessions
Perhaps you work hard, and you want to let the whole world know it.
It is great to celebrate your achievements. But, material things should not be confused with who you are. Furthermore, when you make a habit of showing off money to get what you want, that is simply sad.
Showing humility and being honest with yourself is a way to keep a strong woman around.
#10. People who show a lack of respect
Respect is part of a healthy, loving partnership. They say it is not given but earned. Yet, when you meet a person, there should be a certain level of respect, boundaries, behavior that will make them want to keep seeing you.
A strong woman will walk away when she feels that the partner is not respectful. Not because she is heartless. On the contrary, she wants to protect herself from future heartbreak and toxicity.
#11. People who brag
To quite Shania Twain: “That don’t impress me much.”
You attended the best schools, you make millions, and your car is the best. Even your cat is superior to mine, and your friends are so funny…
A strong woman is humble, and she wants to see inside your soul. She doesn’t need a bragger. It’s a childish trait, and you are not relationship material.
#12. Selfish people
Self-love, self-care, self-preservation come first. However, if you neglect other people’s needs, always use others for your gain, and generally don’t care about their feelings, that is a different story.
A strong woman may appear selfish since she knows where her priorities lie. Yet, she enjoys sharing, making the world a better place, and if you are genuinely selfish, she will not give her the time of day.
A strong woman does the work. She is made for action, regardless of how much she talks.
If you are a person who talks a big game but never comes through, she will see right thru you. Frankly, you do not deserve her, so get up and turn words into action before you lose her.
14. People who refuse to make plans
We are not talking about long-term plans here. A strong woman can take a hint when it comes to the future of a relationship.
If you can’t plan even a lunch date or a weekend getaway, that is on you. A strong woman will bounce back easily.
In fact, it will be easier than getting a straight answer about dinner plans from you.
#15. People who are afraid of commitment
Most of us are afraid of getting hurt. But, that is why we communicate and share.
However, if you are a commitment-phobe, your issues cannot be resolved by forcing yourself to be with someone.
Any woman deserves better, but strong ones will be brave enough to tell you.
#16. Mixed signals
Strong women like things that are straightforward. Playing mind games is fun when you are a hormonal teenager.
When you do grow up, you merely want someone to want you back. Or not to bother you at all.
#17. People who think they are always right
To be fair, no one wants a partner who thinks they are always right.
It is impossible to be with such a person, and clearly, you will not be getting any love from a strong woman.
#18. Slut-shaming and name-calling
Calling another woman a slut will only make us think: what the heck does he/she say about me when I am not around.
Strong women will wear what they like, sleep with whomever they want and it is not your duty to call us vicious names.
Stay away from labeling people. They are not jars!
Similarly, picking on someone based on their weight is petty.
Did you ever think that the person is suffering from a hormonal disbalance? Perhaps they are depressed? No, you are too ignorant, so Bye, Felicia.
#20. People who hate animals
No one is forcing you not to eat meat or give up your leather jacket. But, if you feel hate towards animals, you are barking at the wrong tree.
The animals are not the problem. You are a monster. There is no other reasonable explanation.
#21. Backhanded compliments
You should either pay a compliment or not say a word.
If a compliment is followed by “But,” you don’t have to bother to explain. It is not a deal-breaker, but it is annoying, and who needs that in a loving relationship?
#22. Grammatical minefields
With autocorrect, it is not hard to spell the word correctly. Right? Wrong, it appears.
If you are unsure how to say something, don’t use big words or complex sentences. Keep it simple; otherwise, you will turn off any strong lady.
Some people enter a relationship and they really, and I mean really, have no boundaries.
We do not have to know everything right away. And we certainly do not want to know what you did in the bathroom or what your boss had for lunch. It is too much information, all useless.
#24. People who are overly attached to their phones
We get it: we are all a bit addicted to our phones. Yet, if you are with someone, you should be looking at them, not checking pictures on Instagram.
It is not rocket science but another example of common decency. You only have this moment, and you might throw away your future happiness over a phone. Think about it.
#25. Lack of basic grooming skills
Only 65 percent of all Americans shower every day. Be one of them.
If we are going to a wedding, you should look the part. Clean clothes, perfume, neat apartment are all signs that you are taking care of yourself.
If you want to look like a garbage bag, that is your choice. But don’t expect a woman to try to turn you into a prince-princess. We have more important things to do.
#26. Lack of social awareness
There’s no need to be a social justice warrior. However, it’s desirable to share your thoughts about what’s going on outside the relationship bubble.
No, it is not okay to say that “All Lives Matter.” And “Pride” is a big deal; you don’t have to understand it to know that it’s the right way to fight for equality.
Naturally, if you are racist, homophobic, sexist, keep walking. No, in fact, better run!
#27. Guilt-tripping into sex (or anything for that matter)
A strong woman can be manipulated because she is human first and foremost.
She will realize that she is dealing with someone who uses manipulation to get what they want. And guess what? You will be sorry because once a strong woman is done with you, she truly is done.
#28. Talking about the exes all the time
Dating is not a competition. Comparing a strong woman to your ex or exes shows that you are either a sociopath, a manipulator, or too insecure.
The thing about strong women is that they are aware of their strengths and their weaknesses. Talking about your ex only gives away the creepy vibe.
It’s annoying, and who needs that from a loving partner?
#29. Keeping us from their families
Meeting the family is a milestone in any relationship.
It is nerve-wracking but also a sign that you are not playing a game. You have plans, you see your partner.
If you want to keep a woman, do not keep her away from your family. Especially if you already met her dearest.
#30. Hiding us from friends
If a woman wants to be “a booty call,” that is okay. She wants sex and nothing more.
But, if you already met her friends, what are you waiting for?
Meeting the parents or friends is a significant step in every relationship. If your woman wants to hang out with your friends, you should feel good about it.
If you don’t, then it is time for some self-reflection. Either you are ashamed of your relationship or your friends. Either way, it is not a good look.
#31. Acting single while we are apart
Strong women have a sense of pride. It’s not jealousy, though it might seem that way.
If we are together, and someone sees you acting like you are on The Bachelor, forget my number.
Loyalty is sexy. Being deceitful is a major turn-off.
#32. Celebrating drugs or alcohol
It’s okay to relax with a glass of wine (or three). But if you are promoting drugs and alcohol, you are wasting my time and energy.
A strong woman will choose herself over you and your mess. She won’t try to save you. That’s your job.
Promoting self-destructive behavior is one of the biggest turn-offs. Feel free to find someone as destructive as you are.
#33. Not listening to what we are saying
Since we are quite opinionated, vocal about our intentions, expectations, you have to know that not listening is among the biggest turn-offs for every strong lady.
If she is listening to you, you better listen back!
Strong women don’t need a partner; they choose to want one
The reality is that a strong woman doesn’t need someone to rely on. As Maya Angelou said: “I’ve got my own back.”
When she wants someone, she is an excellent, supporting, and understanding partner most of the time. Yet, due to being unapologetically herself, she is often single.
Many genuinely inspiring, empowering women choose to stay on their own. There is so much love and beauty in the world that compromising all you believe in, all your wisdom, faith, and strength, just to have a plus one, seems like a sacrifice.
It was never easy being a woman. And in a sense, all women are much stronger than we give them credit for. That is why we will not settle, nor we should.
However, with the right person, a strong woman becomes a superhero. If you are that person, you should know that you are someone special. She chose you, after all.