After being with someone for a while we can fall into the routine. Sometimes this happens so much that we don’t realize that the love that brought the relationship together has vanished. It could have vanished from either one side of the relationship or both.

Here are ten signs that the love in your relationship is gone. 

1. You barely talk to one another. 

A comfortable silence is good sometimes, but think about the silences when they’re happening. Are you in separate rooms, texting friends and living separate lives out of the same house, or are you laying on the couch with your legs intertwined watching tv? 

2. You feel uncomfortable when your friends talk about their relationships. 

It can almost feel like they’re bragging when your friend tells you about the sweet thing their loving partner did for them. You might feel jealous or angry that your partner doesn’t do those things, or maybe just lonely. 

3. You say “I love you” less- or not at all. 

This is the most obvious one, but also consider the times you do say it. Are you looking into their eyes and professing your deepest feelings, or are you shouting “love ya!” as you leave for work just out of habit? 

4. You become impatient when they make mistakes. 

Nobody is perfect, but love lets us overlook the small things. The fact that they bite their nails or put their cold feet on you under the covers. Are the mistakes small? Are they things that your partner has always done, but suddenly make you angry? This could be a sign. 

5. You’re bored when you are together. 

In the beginning of a relationship there is so much to talk about, so much to learn about the other person, so much to do! Have you two become comfortable, or has the love just run out? Do you find yourself wishing there was something new for you two to do, or wishing for an out so you can go do something on your own? 

6. You dread going home or having them come home. 

This is a pretty glaring sign. Dread is not something you should feel in a relationship. 

7. You are checking out other people. 

Yes, it’s okay to appreciate other people’s attractiveness. But there’s a line between “they’re attractive” and “I want to be with them,” and you know when your thoughts cross that line. Assess when that happens, it may mean you aren’t in love with your current partner anymore. 

8. You are just going through the motions of the relationship. 

If you’ve packed your partner lunch every morning for the past 10 years or always folded the laundry because they hate it, stop and think- is it a chore to you now, or are you still doing it from a place of love? 

9. You feel happier without them. 

Being out of love but still in a relationship can be stressful, and that stress leaves when the person isn’t there. Feeling happier without the person that is supposed to make you happy is a pretty big sign that the love is gone!

10. When you imagine the future you don’t see them with you. 

This is the best test. Picture yourself in a year or five or ten. Are you two still together?

Whether the love is still there or it’s gone, even if you’re not sure, there are ways to keep the relationship together or to end it. Those are personal choices between the two of you. The most important thing is to communicate openly and honestly with one another.