I am possibly the worst person on this green earth when it comes to making overly ambitious – or non-existent – resolutions.
Whether it's New Year's, Lent, or even a new Monday of the week, I will be filled with promise and good intentions right up until the point at which I have to action them.
Sound familiar? Well, to all my fellow wasters of time and life, you all know just how frustrating and self-destructive this habit can be. Suddenly you look down and realise you've stopped growing, and the next thing you know it's been three years.
You still haven't got rid of that gut that so inconveniently appeared post-Christmas in 2018. But that's beside the point because as we enter the middle of February, time is once again getting away from us.
We all know that January lasts for a few decades of horrible but reassuringly homogenous greyness. However, that is curtailed by the aggressive shortness of February.
By now, everyone else has already got into their grove and started moving along with their lives and goals. It feels like it's only you that's left out in the open, vulnerable to the elements and unable to figure out how to proceed.
But here's my advice for the rest of 2020 – there's still plenty of time to make a difference!
Stop wasting time on toxic relationships that outstay their welcome!
Yes, I know that he was really cute and funny when you met him in the club in November, but it's all gone a little cold by dreary February now. The messages have dried up and now it's verging on what might charitably be called 'friends with benefits but it is, in reality just a hook-up gig.
That's fine in principle, but you're nearing your third decade on this earth. The time for experimenting has long since elapsed. It's maybe time you start to think about settling down, or at least to figure out what you want.
In a partner. Of yourself. Out of life. You know, the small questions of our continued existence. No biggie.
If the relationship has a natural and very conspicuous expiry date, don't hang on to that limp kale in the fridge just because you were feeling jaunty when you purchased it at the grocers.
It's fine. We all make mistakes. Mistakes aren't a waste of time inherently, not if you look them in the eye. But you can't hang on to them and stop living your life because of a misguided loyalty to decisions you made long ago.
Also, prioritise yourself!
Sometimes, that means listening to ABBA's tear-jerking Slipping Through My Fingers with a sticky hot chocolate and potato smileys on a Friday night. And sometimes it's something less insular, but whatever your soul is reaching for, give it.
It's not giving in, a cheat day, or even self-care. It's just your life, your survival, your taste in things. One thing that we as a society have to unlearn is the importance of valuing our own interests.
Nothing is a 'guilty pleasure' if it brings us joy. That's just constituent of who we are. There is genuinely nothing wrong with that.
Luxuriate in your favourite trashy films, yes, but also do try to branch out. Go to that Dog Café with your friends, or see that Indie film on Southbank next week.
Try out yoga or Zumba
Maybe avoid the marathon craze if that's not your thing, but try to tap into your interests.
Living your best life doesn't mean living for the things you think you should do. 'Should' is a killer word in society that makes us think the only things worth doing are those we have to work for.
That's simply not true, and it's that understanding that stops us from doing things we want to because we're so busy wasting time avoiding the 'should' of life.
So please don't waste more valuable years of your life living someone else's life. Only you can live yours, so do it!