I know you believe that things will change for the better. Yes, he may not be the dream man you always wished for, but you still are convinced he will change. Yes, he may not be very romantic or doesn’t show strong emotional, physical or social support, but you are positive that he’ll become better.
The thought of him makes your hearts skip a beat, your knees feel week when around him, and you love how he carries himself around. The mere thought of him being away from you or not part of your life drives you insane. In fact, you never want to think about this. It would shatter your heart into a million pieces.
Sadly, while you’ve completely opened up yourself and heart to him. He doesn’t seem to reciprocate. In fact, it feels like you are the one who’s doing the chasing. You’ll occasionally send a loving text to him, Call to just inquire how his day is going on, or even come up with the weekend plans. You also try to persuade him to be part of your getaway group or nudge him to make things official.
However, he shows little interest in your efforts. If you don’t call him, he’ll never call. If you don’t make prior plans for an upcoming event, he might just decide to disappear with the boys. Also, he seems a little withdrawn and hasn’t allowed you in his circle of friends. You probably haven’t met his close family despite having been with him for what seems to be an eternity.
Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but your relationship is going nowhere. I mean, being a man, he is supposed to do all the chasing. And you, on the other hand, are supposed to be playing hard to get. But in this scenario, it sounds like tables have been reversed. He lets you do all the work.
Rather than building the bond between the two of you, this association is slowly killing you without you knowing. It is draining you physically, socially, mentally, and probably spiritually.
Like any other person, you want to feel appreciated, loved, and pampered once in a while. A lovely peck or kiss in the morning, a sweet romantic text in the course of the day to leave you mesmerized, or the surprise dinner at a hidden location. This is what you always dream of but you are getting none of it.
Believe you me, it’s better to be alone than lonely. Yes, you are in a relationship, but you feel as if alone. He never listens to you attentively, never is around, and doesn’t take your feeling, desires, or dreams seriously. Instead, his either too focused on his part of life or plays master where he takes you for what you are rather than who you are.
In any healthy relationship, there are two equal partners whose role is to build each other. No one plays “God” in the relationship and therefore there is no subordinate or subject. It’s always about giving and taking without expecting much. Today you’ll be carrying the ball and tomorrow it will be the other way round. You do everything wishing the other person well and trying your best to help him achieve his life goals, dreams, and expectations.
Being in an unhealthy relationship where you are doing all the giving while he is taking all feels like hanging on a thin thread. You very well know that it will snap sooner or later and you will fall. Like a mirage, you know the future is but an illusion. And while the grass may seem greener, it’s actually nonexistent.
It’s time you opened your eyes and followed the soft voice in your heart. All the signals of a failing relationship are in black and white yet you chose to ignore them. The heart is telling you that there is nothing in the connection but you still choose to ignore the voice of wisdom. In the end, not only will you suffer heartbreak, pain, and heartache, but will find it hard to start all over again. The sooner you get out of the better for you and everyone else.
Stop burying your head in sand and assuming that since you don’t see what’s around you then there is no danger lurking. Stop hiding behind the veil that creates a perfect illusion whereas, in reality, it’s very gloomy out there. Stop wasting time in a meaningless relationship. It’s time you called it quits and began walking on a more healthy and fulfilling relationship.
I know it’s hard to accept the truth and even harder is beginning all over again. It takes a lot of heart and courage to do this. And you’ll probably shed lots of tears, deal with low self-esteem, and probably feel different about men.
But the truth is that gathering the small broken pieces and gluing them together takes time, effort, and patience. The good news, however, is that you’ll come out stronger, bolder, and wiser.
Don’t waste time in the relationship no matter how deeply in love you are with him. If he isn’t willing to reciprocate now, he won’t in the future either. Stop torturing your heart and move on. It’s time you got someone who treats you the way you are meant to be treated.