Having daddy issues is painful, real, and anything but trivial. Somehow, we made it into jokes, but it's time to end the nonsense, since growing up fatherless is cruel.
Living with a father is a social privilege. Instead of trying to understand what it feels like to have two responsible parents, someone decided to make a joke and turn all women with real daddy issues into sluts.
When you're a child, you have some rather basic needs. But the most important thing you bring into adulthood is your relationship with your parents.
Not everyone's fortunate enough to grow up in a happy, healthy environment.
Absent parents can cause damage that lasts a lifetime. As if dealing with it as a kid isn't enough, when you're a young woman, you meet people who trivialize and sexualize the lack of your father's presence.
Of course, mothers who do not act like parents can create complete chaos in a person's mind, but today we're going to talk about the relationship between a girl and her father. Her hero or her worst nightmare, depending on what cards life dealt you.
Fathers who are abusive, absent, or merely the ones who don't deserve to be called parents, cause brain changes, ever since your formative years.
The stress hormones go up, and the oxytocin goes down. Simply, it means that your neurobiology is already messed up by the time you get to primary school.
Father hunger and eating disorders
After many decades, even centuries of looking at women who grew up fatherless as a joke, psychologists are finally taking a different approach.
There's such a thing as "Father Hunger," which is a feeling of emptiness, due to lack of dad's love.
The statistics are horrible: the vast majority of girls on the streets, around 90 percent, come from fatherless homes. Does it sound like daddy issues are a laughing matter now?
85 percent of all kids with behavior disorders come from fatherless homes. That's 20 times the average, and it affects both males and females.
There are around 35 million kids in the USA living without a father, and they are more likely to commit suicide, fall into substance abuse traps or end up as sex workers.
Daddy issues are often connected to eating disorders as well. Being a young woman isn't easy, but when you don't have a male role model, things can go from bad to worse.
"Father Hunger" can literally mean that a gal is eating her feelings, blaming herself for the lack of her father's love, and resenting her fragile and young body and mind.
Men see women who grew up fatherless as easy prey, and a study from the University of Utah proved that there's more to it.
Before we start blaming men, let's see if there is some truth to sexual behaviour and Father Hunger.
Women with low quality fathering are often looking to overcompensate. Sexual attention is used because these gals think they need to prove something.
There's a weird and frightening link between young adult women taking sexy selfies and their relationships with their dads.
In 2019, scientists developed a scale to measure the desire for sexual attention. They looked at the relationship with parental bonding.
The three dark triad traits came as results: manipulativeness, narcissism (excessive self-love), and psychopathy (antisocial behavior).
Terrifying results are nothing more than proof that not all homes are perfect, but trivializing a bond between a father and a daughter is dangerous.
There's nothing sexy about craving the attention of an absent parent. If we, as a society, aren't careful, we will end up with even more troubled young women.
These same ladies are using sex while living empty and superficial lives.
Similarly to eating disorders, they are trying to find out what's causing guilt and emptiness. At the same time, these girls are asking the same question: why did daddy leave me?
Yes, these same women are manipulating, but they need help, sympathy, and love. Not a useless, twisted label of being a girl with daddy issues.
Protecting your daughter
A good, healthy divorce doesn't have to affect a child. An alcoholic or abusive and estranged dad, or a dad who simply left, are the actions that should be held responsible.
Even the death of a father can cause life-lasting trauma, but not all is lost. There are still fully functioning adults who grew up without the privilege of having one or both parents.
Understanding the effects of fatherlessness could create a change in society. A father's loving presence can cause a decrease in crime, abuse, poverty, and depression.
Providing adequate support and opportunities for dads and support for children without a dad should be on everyone's mind.
If you are a single mother, you need to be aware that your feelings towards your baby girl's dad aren't as important as hers.
It's not easy being a parent, but raising a child on your own seems impossible. Until you're sitting in that chair.
As a parent, you have to give your kid emotional support and enough safe space for talking.
A child can't understand that daddy simply left. Instead of leaving your little girl in the dark, please consult a professional. Work on creating a guilt-free environment during her tender age.
Honesty is the best policy, but you are allowed to protect a child from going into details. Teach your child to be grateful, and leave your personal bitterness aside.
There are no "daddy issues" jokes anymore. Unless you're ready to face a girl who grew up with that label. She went to hell, only to come back to present that "Father Hunger" is a life of struggle, a life of questions, and confusion.
We are learning to accept that white privilege is very real. And while we're learning, let's add another privilege no one talks about – growing up in a home with two parents.
Finally, if you're a woman who grew up without a father figure, remember that it's not your fault.
You are doing the best you can, and you should never feel ashamed or feel anything less because you matter. One male figure does not define you!