Possessive couples intrude on each other's boundaries and disrespect each other's independence. That is not a person that you would like to be involved with.
Possessiveness is a fast way to go from desiring a lover to wanting to own them. It is a fine line to cross from love to possessiveness. Once you go there, it is never easy to stop being a possessive partner.
It doesn't seem like going from the honeymoon phase to jealousy is such a quick process. However, many couples are finding out that it can be quite a slippery slope. It is difficult for anyone to deal with jealousy, but some people find it harder than others.
Would you like to come back home one day and find your significant other searching through your cell phone? How about experiencing guilt trips when you are about to go with your friends? Or the outbursts when you offer no reassurance. And the endless interrogations over attractions to someone else.
Learning how to stop being a possessive partner is paramount to having a healthy relationship. There are many subtle and less so ways that people attempt to control relationship partners. This serves as a means to calm their own emotions.
Keep in mind that feeling connected to someone doesn't mean it is okay to act entitled. You should not try to exert power over them. It is known that attempting to exercise authority over our partners serves the opposite. It will only reduce and diminish our attraction to them. Trying to control someone close to us, we limit them in ways that make them less themselves.
A well-rounded relationship stems from mutual trust, and possessiveness intrudes on that. Don't we all want our partners to be fulfilled and happy individuals? Well, when you make your partner feel guilty for choosing to spend time with friends, the trust will diminish.
To have a healthy relationship, it is essential always to aim to grow to expand the worlds of you and your partner, instead of shrinking them. Jealous and possessive couples lead to relationship dissatisfaction and destructive behavior.
How best to break the habit of being possessive partners? There are quite a few steps to this process. The first one is to understand why you engage in controlling behavior and to deal with the underlying feelings that might drive you to this unhealthy dynamic.
1. Communication Is The Key
If you ever feel in the dark about your partner's activities, your worst fears will start playing in your head. Letting your imagination loose here is never a good idea. The best way to deal with this is to seek reassurance through communication.
Building trust to stop being a possessive partner is the most critical step. The key to this is communication. By communicating with your partner, you are preventing your mind from leading you astray. To avoid miscommunication and the potential to overthink a situation, always make sure to communicate.
Having trust in your partner is very important. Being able to share how you are feeling even more so. This way, you can tell your partner if and when a situation makes you uncomfortable. This will help possessive couples because they will address things before they get out of hand.
Due to the process of learning how to communicate effectively, you will be able to find compromises. This will suit both of you and stop either of the partners from feeling hurt.
2. Try Not To Be Paranoid
Humans work in different ways. Some people are predisposed to being paranoid. If you get anxious when you do not see what your partner is currently doing, you need to address this. This is an essential step toward mending for possessive couples.
If you are worried that your partner is flirting with someone else or hanging out with the wrong crowd, it can be dangerous. This paranoia will lead you to mistrust your partner. At the same time, it will affect your mind and heart.
It is important to let your partner be. By learning how to be confident with yourself, you will learn how to trust your partner. Let them act how they act and learn to ignore the present emotions of paranoia. Despite those temptations, you know that your partner loves you above everything else.
3. Control Your Jealousy
While jealousy is a normal human emotion like anger, sadness, or joy, too much of it is never good. Sometimes you just cannot let it get the best of you.
In the moments when you are starting to get jealous, take a chance to breathe. Relax, try thinking objectively. Try to see the situation through your partner's eyes. Think about the memories and the future you want to pursue with your partner. All of that would be put to waste if you let jealousy control you.
Possessive partners can lose sight of the things that matter most. It is always good to stop and see the world from a lighter perspective.
4. Don't Try To Change Your Partner
Learning to accept your partner for who they are is an essential step to healing for possessive couples. If you push your partner to change to suit your ideas, it can lead to conflict. This is never the right thing to do when in a relationship.
Like any individual, you and your partner are human beings. As such, you are created with flaws and misgivings. It is not right to ask your partner to improve themselves because they do not meet your standards. This may lead them to walk away from the relationship.
Why not give them a chance to be themselves? As you experience the world together, change will come naturally.
5. Focus On Your Own Life
You are your own person. You have your hobbies, your job, and your own social life. If you focus on all that, you will be a far more interesting person.
Of course, it is vital to spend time together with your partner. However, it is also a good thing to spend some time apart. You are two different people and enjoy various things. This will lead to having different themes to talk about and share.
Having something else to focus on will help possessive couples stop their unhealthy habits.
6. Learn To Calm Your Anxiety
As you start going through the steps that possessive couples go through, you will find that your anxiety can get the better of you. However, there are many ways to calm your anxiety.
The best would be to practice mindfulness and breathing exercises. These are the things that will allow you to sit comfortably with your feelings and thoughts. It will also not allow them to control your behavior. It is important to stop yourself from getting overpowered by your emotions.
7. Express Yourself Appropriately
While it is okay to feel a little jealous or insecure sometimes, too much of it is never good. One thing that possessive couples do is being silent about things that bother them.
Learn that it is okay to express to your partner what you are feeling. Of course, take in mind to do so in the right way. This will lead a possessive partner to be less possessive. Simply talking to your partner and express feelings of jealousy or insecurity calmly is better than becoming unhinged.
Take note to tell your partner how you are feeling and what you think is making you feel that way. Try to let your partner know how they can help.
8. Open Up About Your Insecurities
We are all human beings. In every healthy relationship, it is vital to share how you feel. Take care not to blame your partner for what's going on in your life.
Possessive couples can learn to cope with this if they share why they are behaving in specific ways. Make sure to acknowledge that you are trying to change your habits/ Let your partner know that they can do their part by avoiding situations or behavior that may trigger you.
9. Hang Out With Your Friends Together
Possessiveness means being suspicious of everyone else in your partner's life. A good tip for possessive partners on stopping being possessive is to meet each other's friends.
It would be easier for you to see that there isn't anything suspicious going on if you know your partner's social circle. As with the first step of communication, this will lead to calming your fears.
10. Try To Find The Real Reason Why You Are In Possesive Couple
Understanding yourself is important. Before you can heal, you need to learn what is causing you distress.
Possessive couples should ask each other why do they feel possessive in the relationship? What had happened in their past to cause this? It could be fear from a past relationship, something that happened in childhood, or something else entirely.
In any case, it is important to figure out what is causing you to feel and act this way. By doing so, you will come to terms with your issue and conquer it.
11. Take Some Time For Self Love
It could be hard to learn that jealousy and possessiveness have a lot to do with your self-esteem. Insecurities make people act out. It could lead possessive partners to hold tightly to the things they love. This can sometimes mean that they are holding too tight.
You have to learn to love yourself before you can love someone else. Take note to get to know yourself. Try spending time alone doing things that you love. Eat well, exercise, get plenty of rest, perhaps even try meditating.
12. Don't Spy On Your Partner
It is quite possible that possessive couples have done this at least once. It is easy to go through emails or text messages, take a peek at their internet history, or scroll through their social media profile.
When you are doing it, it may seem harmless. Don't be fooled; it is creating cracks in your relationship. It hurts the trust that you both should have. This is why it is essential to resist these urges.
13. Learn How To Trust Your Relationship
If you are projecting your issues onto your partner, it is easy to feel insecure. This is something that possessive partners often do. Instead of getting jealous, try taking a moment. Use this for some self-reflection. Figure out if the problem is actually with your partner or is the cause within you.
14. Seek Therapy If Nothing Helps
Sometimes, talking to a professional is the best solution. Therapists are trained to help you overcome the feelings of insecurity that may lead to possessiveness. This will help you figure out the root of the problem you are facing. If you cannot do it by yourself, then your therapist will help you decipher your feelings.