Staying In A Damaged Marriage Just For The Sake Of Your Children Can Cause Serious Psychological Problems In Them
Published in May 2019 / Updated in Aug 2021
Your love story might have been your favorite soon after you met.
But if your marriage is on the rocks, then it’s time you forgot about all that. If the relationship is no longer working, don’t stress yourself looking for ways to hold on, especially if you have children.
Now, you might argue that it is for the sake of the children that you are still together. But actually, if you want to help your children, then don’t force the marriage to work, it makes things worse for them.
With repeated exposure to a toxic marriage, children end up suffering from both emotional and psychological wounds.
Keep in mind that children are very impressionable, and the last thing you want to register on their young minds is the unhealthy energy that can exist between people who are forced into a relationship that is not working out for them.
Apparently, such kids might not even know what a healthy environment is like. The trauma might be all they understand. They might not know and appreciate that their parents are trying to make things work for their benefit, all that they see is the animosity that exists between their parents.
True, a divorce can take quite a toll on children, and these issues might affect them even into their adulthood. This is part of the reason many estranged spouses struggle to make it work.
But that might be a worse option. They will see your bad relationship as an ‘ideal.’ Therefore, they will be attracted to people who are likely to have such relationships with them. The shouting might seem normal to them, and they might think that giving each other the silent treatment for days is an effective conflict resolution method.
So, a marriage that is held together by the kids can get quite toxic, and it’s best to end it. The kids would be better off without it.
According to Rosalind Sedacca, “if your marriage has created a toxic home environment, they’re probably better off getting some distance from it.”
Many other experts agree with this. And the evidence is on their side as such kids end up suffering deep emotional and psychological scars.
You see, bad relationships don’t just affect those in them, but those who are exposed to them as well. In this regard, kids get the worse of these relationships.
Kids in these unhealthy marriages end up dealing with paranoia, anxiety, and other issues throughout their lives. They live lives whereby they are concerned that things could go out of control at any time.
Some children even blame themselves and think they are the reason their parents are fighting. This guilt can stay with them throughout their lives. That is because unhappy parents will often project their negative emotions onto their kids, whether they know it or not.
That is why is it better to call the marriage quits if it is no longer healthy. Forcing it to work will only make it worse and it will hurt your children and potentially ruin their future relationships.
So, if the marriage is not working and has gotten very toxic, then let it end for the sake of your children. It might be hard on them in the short-term, but it will be much better for them in the end.