Hand to God, I know most people get into relationships with the best of hopes and intentions. But you know what they say: the road to hell is paved with best intentions.
This age-old saying confirms a sobering truth: no matter how much you want things to turn out right, wishes are not all it takes to make a good situation bad.
And that's why many people end up in relationships with manipulative and controlling partners. At first, it can seem so charming that you are dating someone who "isn't afraid to speak their mind." It's only later that you realize that they don't care for your opinions at all.
If you suspect you might be in such a relationship, then here are some signs you can look for to confirm your suspicions.
1. Sabotaging Your Goals
After isolating you, your partner will sabotage your goals. When you try to progress at work, they will get in the way. They don't even want you to get in shape. It's all about getting in your way, so they feel in charge.
They don't want you to go out with friends. You think that your friends can wait. After all, missing one night out with your buddies can't do you much harm, right? Then you end up not being given a chance to visit family, and before you know it, you are alone with your controlling partner. No outside contacts for you at all.
3. Tracking Your Every Move
Controlling and manipulative people want all the information they can get about you. That is why they spy on you by monitoring your communications and demanding access to your private information. They can argue that it's for transparency but don't buy it because they have ulterior motives. They always do.
4. Public Embarrassment
A controlling and manipulative person will want to ridicule and embarrass you in front of strangers to make you feel small. This should keep you obedient to them as it gives them some authority over you since this treatment will drain you of your self-confidence.
5. Poor Listeners
A manipulative and controlling person couldn't give a flying fig about what you have to say. They will, therefore, have no reason to listen to you and anything you have to say. Ironically, they will want you to hang on to every word they say, but you have to work really hard to get their attention.
6. Guilt Tripping
Manipulators and controllers have many weapons they can use against you, including making you feel guilty over nothing. If you notice this, stand firm, or you might be used to within an inch of your life by these horrible people.
7. Pointless Accusations
A manipulative person wants to keep you on the defense so they can manipulate you into doing what they want. This involves making baseless accusations against you to make you want to prove yourself innocent. They could say you are cheating to make you shy about going out, which is what they wanted all along.
One of the scariest things a manipulator will do is threaten you. These can be empty or emotional threats, or you might fear getting physically harmed. In this case, you should call the police and leave the relationship as soon as possible.
9. Endless Arguments
Have you argued with a control freak? It's terrible because these people will never see reason. They have to be right, even if the argument takes a whole week instead of a few minutes. It's complete madness.
10. Disregard For Your Choices
A manipulative person will never acknowledge that your choices are valid. This is because they don't want any responsibility that benefits you more than it helps them. So, they will argue and argue until you give up. If you enjoy traveling and don't, they will make sure you keep that to yourself since acknowledging the importance of such a hobby means they have to be involved. And that's the last thing they want.
Being in a relationship with a manipulative and controlling person is no fun. The experience can traumatize you. But knowing what to look out for might help you deal with the problem at an earlier stage. If you notice the above signs, then look for the closest exit: you are involved with a manipulative and controlling person and it will never end well.