For far too long, I held myself back for fear of what others would think of me. I needed people to like me. I would cringe at the idea of people thinking bad of me or not liking me. I subconsciously made it my mission to get on with everyone, even those that didn't deserve my time. Without even realizing it I was changing myself and who I was to please other people continuously.
The fact was, I was self-conscious, I wasn't happy in myself and the thoughts of others not liking me changed who I was, I went out of my way to make people like me. I was agreeing to do things I didn't want to do or enjoyed and I was offering to help people when I wasn't free to support them and therefore put myself under pressure.
You, too, could be making life extra difficult for yourself for the same reasons. If you're unsure, below is a list of things to keep in check with yourself. See if you care too much about other people's opinions.
1.Trying To Mind Read
You spend so much time trying to figure out what others are thinking, and why they would be thinking that. Questioning everything. The same can be said when someone speaks, you overanalyze their words, trying to find a different meaning to what they say. No matter how many times you try and fail at reading someone's mind, it never stops the continuous effort to mind read.
2. You Dissect Old Conversations
You're the type of person that tosses and turns all night going over old conversations and finding fault in things you may or may not have said wrong, wondering if the other person took you up the way you intended. Or did they take you up the wrong way and now they think badly of you? You walk away from conversations and need time to rethink them, wondering if you could have said something differently. What did they mean when they said this? Did they misunderstand me?
3. Thinking Too Much About What You Say
You over-analyze every situation. Before meeting someone, you plan how the conversation will go and what you will say. You even fill in how the other person might respond. If you haven't a clear picture set out in your head, you may find yourself stumbling over words, or even getting panicked about what to say.
4. You Lie About Silly Things
As you are not entirely comfortable with yourself, you are sometimes afraid to let people see the real you. You fear they may not like you, so you tell silly white lies about your interests and views on things, to fit in. This is your life; the world is made up of different and unique individuals. You need to learn to let go of worrying about other's judgments of you. Instead, focus on all the things that you enjoy and that make you happy. The right people will show up in your life that will love you for the real you.
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
5. You Have Chameleon-Like Qualities Socially
You may find group settings complicated as you're not sure what everyone expects or wants from you. You are much more at ease in a one-to-one situation; this is where you shine. Because when you are in a one-to-one situation, usually, without realizing it, you become who you think they want you to be. You can mold and blend your personality to suit that person. Your interests, views, and opinions may also change depending on the company you are with.