Gaslighting is not a new phenomenon, even though the term is relatively recent. It involves manipulating someone by denying their feelings and undermining their reality, often used by abusers to gain control and portray themselves as the victim. The effects can be devastating, eroding your confidence and making you doubt yourself even when you are not at fault. To protect yourself from being manipulated, it is important to recognize the signs of gaslighting, which we will discuss below.

1. They Lie To Your Face

Gaslighters have a tendency to lie, which can stem from narcissism or be pathological. They may refuse to acknowledge evidence, change their story, or manipulate facts in their favor. If confronted, they will likely become defensive and shift the blame onto you, accusing you of being crazy or confused.

2. They'll Twist Facts

Gaslighters may distort facts to confuse you and make themselves look better. By questioning yourself, you may become more susceptible to their manipulation and give them the upper hand. For instance, if they pushed you, they may claim to have been trying to help you maintain balance. It is crucial to trust your instincts and not believe their lies.

3. They'll Minimize What Happened

Gaslighters often try to downplay or minimize your feelings as a way to control the situation. They might accuse you of being too sensitive or overreacting to a situation. It is essential to remember that someone who cares about you will not invalidate your emotions or concerns. Do not let anyone diminish your experiences.

4. They Make You Doubt Yourself

Gaslighting can cause constant self-doubt in the victim. The gaslighter gains control by making the victim question their memories or emotions. The victim may feel unsure if they are overreacting or if they remember things correctly. This can lead to long-term loss of self-confidence and even the fear of sharing one's perspective.

5. They Refuse To See Your Perspective

Gaslighters are often unwilling to see things from your point of view or consider the facts you present. Instead, they may dismiss your perspective by calling you too sensitive, accusing you of misremembering, or blaming you for the situation. They maintain their position in the hopes that you will eventually give in and question your own perspective. Resolving a conflict becomes impossible when someone refuses to consider your perspective, so it may be best to remove yourself from the situation instead of continuing to argue.

6. They'll Divert From The Topic

When a gaslighter senses that they are losing control of the situation, they may try to divert attention to regain the upper hand. They might change the subject or bring up something from the past, suggesting that their behavior is justified. Alternatively, they may twist the facts or claim that your ideas came from someone else, such as a friend or family member, to invalidate your claims. It's crucial to stay focused and not allow them to distract you from the issue at hand.

7. They'll Make You Question Your Self-Worth

Gaslighting can seriously damage your self-confidence and make it easier for the gaslighter to control you. When you constantly question your reactions, feelings, and memories, you're less likely to confront the gaslighter and recognize the emotional abuse. The gaslighter may even try to convince you that you're crazy or difficult to deal with, making you feel indebted to them for putting up with you. They might also suggest that no one else would tolerate your behavior, or that no one else could care for you in the same way. Don't underestimate the harm caused by these gaslighting tactics.

8. They Make You Apologize

Gaslighters manipulate situations to make themselves appear in the right and even portray themselves as the victim. They shift the blame onto you, causing you to constantly apologize for things you haven't done wrong. This may lead to a situation where you feel compelled to apologize on your own because your self-confidence has been so severely impacted.

Gaslighting is emotional abuse and manipulation, and it's never your fault. Recognizing it and breaking away can be challenging, so it's essential to create distance between yourself and the gaslighter. If needed, don't hesitate to ask for help to escape a difficult situation.