Relationships can go sour at any time, and it’s always worse when it goes abusive. If you find out you’re in an abusive relationship, either physically or emotionally, it’s best to run as far as your legs can take you.
There are various signs of an abusive relationship, and some people don’t notice it early. Most people have this notion that it’s only abusive when it gets physical, but that’s far from it.
Abuse can happen in various forms, and if you can’t identify them, it can become a lot worse. It can start emotionally and make you a complete shadow of yourself. But how do you spot the signs of an abusive relationship?
These signs mentioned below can give you an insight into where you stand in a relationship. Knowing earlier gives you the courage to leave as soon as possible. Staying in an abusive relationship because you think it’ll only get better is suicide. Most times, it doesn’t.
Here Are Signs You’re in An Abusive Relationship
These telling signs are hard to miss especially when you look out for them. They help you regain your sanity and understand you aren’t crazy for feeling what you do. So what are the signs you are in an abusive relationship?
You Find Yourself Constantly Apologizing
Apologizing to your partner is never a terrible idea. Especially when you know you did something to hurt them, and it makes perfect sense. However, when you constantly apologize for reasons even you can’t wrap your head around, it’s time for a rethink. To the best of your knowledge, you haven’t done anything wrong. So, ask yourself, “why am I apologizing?”.
Lots of people in abusive relationships find themselves constantly apologizing because they are scared of an outburst. They don’t want to be sucked into an argument, which leaves them feeling low and worthless. So, the next best action is apologizing. If you notice this is you, then maybe you should give your relationship a rethink.
They Love to Punish You
They can opt to punish you in various ways. Now I’m not talking extreme things like locking you up or flogging you (if this does happen, not only do you need to leave, you should report them to the police). But punishments can be a lot more than that. How so? They could withhold something they know is of great importance to you.
They could keep important information from you. Shut you out and make you feel unwanted. Give you the silent treatment and act like you don’t exist. Manipulate your emotions into thinking whatever you did was so wrong. And this brings up back to number one. When you notice all these happening, you decide to apologize even when you don’t know why you are.
They Keep You Away from Your Friends and Family
You know you’re in an abusive relationship when you can’t remember the last time you saw your friends and family. The crazy thing about this is that it happens so slowly, you barely notice it at first. It might seem like he loves you so much and always wants to have you it sight. That’s a trait to look out for.
Slowly but steadily, they make you break contact with your friends and family for various reasons. This is a red flag and a huge sign of an abusive relationship. Sooner or later, you just realize how lonely you are. Then you know it’s time to leave.
You Need Permission for Practically Everything You Do
Telling the partner things you’re doing isn’t something to worry yourself over. However, it becomes so when you find out you’re asking for permission to do these things. You need permission to see a friend or go to the store. You need permission to leave the house or do something you enjoy.
If you don’t get that permission, they get angry and either punish you or make you constantly apologize. When you notice this pattern, you’re in an abusive relationship, and it’s time to go.
They Don’t Support You or Your Dreams
No one should ever be with a partner who doesn’t support them and their dreams. One day you’ll wake up and realize how terrible of an idea that was. When your partner isn’t happy about the big and little things concerning you, it’s time to go. It could be their insecurities playing out.
You got a promotion, and they don’t seem happy? Just graduated, passed an exam, or got a new job? Your partner should be your biggest cheerleader. Those things mean a lot to you, and it should mean a lot to them. Instead of being happy for you, they make it seem less important. This is a huge red flag.
They Threaten You and Scare You
When your partner threatens you with something, if you say you’re going to up with them, that’s something to make you leave faster. They might threaten to hurt your family or your friends. They might even threaten to hurt you to keep you by their side. This isn’t an act of true love. It’s straight-up manipulation, and you should go to the police.
Everything about you suddenly changes and revolves around them. You find out you’re not an individual of your own anymore. It’s more like they own you, and that’s not a healthy relationship.
You Feel Nothing for Them
Because of all the pain and stress of being in an abusive relationship, chances are you won’t feel anything for them anymore. Not emotionally and definitely not sexually. They’ve broken your trust, don’t let them break your spirit too. Even if you still have love in there for them, your body probably won’t share the same idea.