Sex forums are a go-to place for many of us. Some questions are just a bit too spicy to ask anyone face-to-face. But is online sex advice always a good idea?
Sex Forum As A Confessional
For centuries sexual relationships stayed behind the bedroom doors. Until we got the ultimate oversharing tool, the Internet.
Technically, having an option to ask anything you want and share your opinions is great. There are tons of legitimate suggestions on anything from cooking asparagus to sex advice.
However, we all tend to wear masks and take advantage of our anonymity. That's where the trouble begins.
Sex forums are a place where people don't hold back and share a lot of personal details. In some cases, it can become potentially harmful to more impressionable visitors. Why is that?
Our sex lives are all incredibly individual. We all like different things and sometimes our preferences go beyond the limits of social acceptance.
Of course, we are striving for a society where everyone and everything is tolerated, as long as it's not hurting anyone. But we are not quite there yet.
As a result, some confessions get a hurricane of backlash instead of much-needed sex advice. Mean comments, graphic language, and threats all add up into a pile of negativity and sometimes lead to unpleasant consequences.
Sex Forum Advice Gone Wrong
Unkind or incorrect sex advice can be potentially harmful in two ways: mental and physical. Sex forum users are not trained medical professionals for the most part.
It is people like you and me: baristas, beauticians, teachers, construction workers, and so on. Would you call yourself a sex expert? If yes, then would you call yourself a licensed expert?
So basically, we have a bunch of people from different backgrounds judging each other and giving out advice. We don't really consider what the other person might be going through.
We just say things and move on.
Now, picture an average teenager with an inadequate sex education curriculum and conservative parents. She doesn't know the first thing about sex and decides to visit a sex forum to find out more.
And here comes the wave of opinions. There you will find home remedies for birth control, limitless slut-shaming statements, and detailed descriptions of sexual acts that are targeted at groups with specific preferences.
Our teenager's pupils are growing wider, and she starts to question her own body and desires. A thousand new questions appear in her head.
"Am I a slut?"
"Is my body not normal?"
"What's wrong with me?"
We can only imagine where this can go next. In the best-case scenario, the teen recovers from this load of information and seeks scientific explanations to her concerns.
The worst-case scenario is anxiety, self-loathing and unhealthy sex experimentation. Yes, not pretty at all.
This brings us to the next question: should we then avoid going to a sex forum altogether? Or do we learn to pick and choose which sex advice to follow?
Sex Forum User Suggestions
Sex forums can be mighty helpful. For one thing, they show us that we are not alone and many others share the same doubts and experiences.
But we also learned today that we need to approach going to a sex forum wisely. Here are some suggestions on how to choose sex advice that won't harm your mind and body.
1. Find the right sex forum. Ideally, you are looking for an online space that combines the opinions of the majority with some professional medical advice. The good news is that these sources are mostly out in the open and easy to locate.
2. Follow the age restriction guidelines. That "eighteen plus" sign is there for a reason. Some sex advice is appropriate for younger audiences and some aren't. Don't rush diving into the ocean of people's sex lives, stay in the kiddie pool as long as needed.
3. Prepare for some mild turbulence. You want to go to the sex forum with your mind open to the maximum. Remember, people like different things and that's ok. Yes, it might shock you, but the best thing you can do is to learn to accept.
4. Filter the fake news. There are always trolls out there. Giving ridiculous sex advice as a joke is not uncommon. Your job is to see through the lies and maybe double check when in doubt.
5. Practice keeping your opinion to yourself. Having an opinion is what makes you an individual. But sometimes the way you see things can harm others, without you knowing. If you feel like commenting something potentially controversial, it's best to hold it in.
Sex is an inevitable part of life for the majority of people. But getting sex advice from an online forum might not always be the best choice.
So, where do we go to get valid information about sex outside the online world?
Advice Outside Of Sex Forum
This shouldn't be a surprise: if you have questions about your body or your sexuality — go to a doctor. Medical advice is not restricted by age limits and usually has a lot of scientific ground to stand on.
An OB/GYN, a urologist, or a women's health nurse practitioner will be more than happy to answer your questions. What's more, you will get the chance to get checked and detect any existing health issues.
If your question is more psychological than physical, consider making an appointment with a sex therapist. In many scenarios, our bodily functions and dysfunctions can be traced back to the way we think and see the world.
So, while the gyno can evaluate all the physical factors, the therapist is going to look at the fundamentals of your perception. You'll be surprised by the mental blocks you might have.
And if the question is somewhat basic, you can always check with your friend or a relative. Because sex education is not only about intercourse, it includes things like personal hygiene, puberty, and straightforward biology.
Your parents and older siblings will most likely be able to explain how human bodies work. If not, then come back to square one and seek medical advice.
Now, since we have already started the discussion on sex forum advice, it makes sense to dig a bit deeper. Next, we are going to talk about the top 10 sex questions people ask.
Top 10 Sex Forum Questions
Sex advice-seekers range from entirely clueless to experienced and knowledgeable. This means that the questions they ask are at different levels of complexity.
But the most frequently asked question on any sex forum is almost always circulating the following topics. As you will see, some of them have a total right to exist, while others are borderline silly.
Swiping The V-Card
Virginity is a whole other topic. Every culture has its own concept of female virginity, and we all consciously or subconsciously follow these beliefs.
There is an entire category of virginity related questions on any sex forum. From "My boyfriend kissed me on the cheek, am I not a virgin anymore?" to "How can I reconstruct my hymen at home?".
As you browse through dozens of opinions, remember two things. First, virginity is an entirely social construct, meaning that its perception is abstract.
Female hymen has very little to nothing to do with virginity. But depending on your religion and physical location, it can play a very big role.
Second, we all have our own idea of being a virgin. Some people only consider vaginal sex to be the real thing. Others believe they swiped their V-card when they first had an orgasm.
And both are right.
Sexuality is very individual, so is virginity. Sexual purity might play a great role in your life or be completely unimportant.
Whatever the case is, always make sure to accept the opinions of others. And do not give unsolicited sex advice that is based on your culture or religion.
The Physical Self-Love
Just as virginity, masturbation is a very diverse topic in terms of opinions. Once again, cultural beliefs play a great role.
In Western medicine, self-touching is considered healthy and even beneficial. While in other parts of the world it is a major taboo.
We won't go into too many details, to ensure no one's feelings get hurt. Let's just say that exploring your body is completely natural.
It is a good idea to first understand your body and learn the difference between pleasure and harm. Once you know what's good and what's not, go right ahead and love yourself as much as you want.
How To Be Good At Sex?
Are you good at sex? Why do you think that way?
News flash: you cannot be universally good at sex. This concept just doesn't exist.
Yes, some of us have more experience and tricks up our sleeve. But this doesn't make us good for absolutely anyone we sleep with.
As we have already learned today, everyone on the sex forum has their own story and their own preferences. What feels good to them, will not necessarily feel good to you. And vice versa.
When you get to know your sex partner, make sure to communicate as much as possible. Ask them what they enjoy. Tell them what turns your world upside down.
The longer you stay in the relationship, the better lovers you become to each other. But at the same time, sex advice you give to others might be useless.
Why? Because we are all different. And there is really just one answer to any of how to be good at sex question. Want to be good at making love — make love.
The Search For That Magical Spot
G-spot is truly a mystery. Mostly, because there are so many myths and misconceptions that surround it.
Biologically, there is a patch of highly sensitive tissue just about an inch away from the vaginal opening. This patch tends to slightly expand and feel extra sensitive during sexual arousal.
However, not all women like when their G-spot is stimulated. Many claim that it gives them an unpleasant feeling.
Plus, not every single woman has that spot at the same, well, spot. The size, the location, and the sensitivity vary from one vagina to another.
So, it makes perfect sense that a single guide on finding a G-spot doesn't exist. All the sex forum gurus who claim to have that universal path to the orgasm button are simply full of it.
Am I Pregnant?
This is my personal favorite. Of course, we all come from different backgrounds sex-ed wise. But, common.
Have you ever seen something like "I shared a hot tub with two guys, am I pregnant?" online. Or women genuinely concerned about being pregnant from oral or anal sex?
It might seem hilarious at first, but there is some sad truth behind it. A lot of young girls do not ever receive adequate sex advice and live inside a barricade of misconceptions.
The bottom line is: when you need to know for sure if you are pregnant or not — go to a doctor. Even the common drug-store test will not give you a precise result.
The most reliable way to confirm a pregnancy is through professionally performed blood tests.
What Is The Best Kind Of Birth Control
While we are on the topic of pregnancies, let's also cover birth control. There are many available approaches nowadays and navigating through them can be a bit challenging.
The smartest way to find a suitable birth control plan is with assistance from your OB/GYN. Doctors need to be involved due to the simple reason of compatibility.
Most birth control products are hormone-based. This makes them highly individual and not suitable for everyone.
When you are choosing birth control, consider your body type, your chronic illness history, your plans on reproducing, and so on. Consult with a medical professional and make sure to research as much as possible before you stick to one kind.
Sex forums can be a good source of information. Many users will share their experiences with certain birth control types.
You can use these opinions to either confirm or cancel out your original view. But you definitely shouldn't use sex forums as a one-stop-shop for choosing a birth control method.
TMI On STIs
Sexually transmitted infections and diseases are a very serious topic. You will absolutely find a lot of horror stories regarding one or the other on pretty much every sex forum.
The best course of action when you think you have an STI? Yes, you've guessed correctly: go to the doctor.
In fact, a lot of STIs are not symptomatic in both women and men. This means that you could be carrying a disease without knowing about it.
So, it is a great idea to get systematic check-ups from your local clinic. Especially, if you have multiple sexual partners.
Once again, the sex forum is a good place to get sex advice. But you will not get diagnosed or cured by reading online comments.
Do the right thing and get checked at least once in six months. Regular check-ups can help you catch some infections at the early stages of development and, therefore, treat them more effectively.
Porn is another controversial topic that you will most likely find on a sex forum. The most frequently asked question is the morality of watching adult films and whether it can be considered cheating.
Let's put it this way. It all depends on how your relationship works and what things you find acceptable.
In theory, there is nothing wrong with finding pleasure in adult entertainment. But if there is an addiction or a harmful perception, it is certainly not ideal.
Additionally, if your partner is offended by your necessity to watch porn, it needs to be discussed. You might find out that your loved one is insecure about themselves and help them overcome this.
Or you will discover that your values are fundamentally different and your relationship might not be working.
What Is The Best Sex Position
Honestly, go ahead and try as many as you can. Changing positions is fun, as long as nobody is hurt.
Don't know how to get your slightly conservative partner on board? Consider playing a position-related game such as sex dice.
Study the ancient Kama Sutra or watch an educational video together. You might even go to a sex forum and look for position suggestions there.
Use your imagination and get creative. Maybe you will come up with a whole new way of getting it on. And don't forget to share that sex advice on a forum, if you do.
Sugar And Spice
Long term relationships are priceless in terms of bonds and emotional connections. But the sexual tension might slightly weaken or become a routine.
This is when many bored lovers turn to a sex forum in search of ways to make things hotter. And here you can just go for it.
Be open to experiment and accept your partner's new likes and dislikes. There are hundreds of things you have not tried yet.
From sex toys to role-playing to adventurous locations. Who knows, maybe there are things you don't even know about yourself.
The most important thing is to keep things consensual and safe. Have fun!
Do We Trust Sex Forum Advice?
Sexuality is a wide and very colorful topic. There are so many things to explore and discover.
Sex forums are a helpful tool to find out more and get an idea of how others are experiencing the same things. But you always have to keep in mind that not every sex advice you find online is true.
Keep your judgement clear and turn to medical professionals whenever necessary.
Remember, that pleasure is hard work. But if you do it right, the reward is incredible.