Meeting an attractive man is a rare opportunity that should be seized. However, it can be difficult due to the rapid flow of nervous thoughts that may occur. Here are a few common thoughts that may occur when you meet a particularly attractive man.
1. "Could Any Man Really Be That Cute?"
It's possible that hormonal fluctuations during your menstrual cycle may be causing you to feel particularly attracted to this man. You may feel the urge to take a surreptitious photo of him and send it to a trusted friend for confirmation of his attractiveness. It's not uncommon to feel overwhelmed when encountering an exceptionally good-looking man, especially if it's been a while since you've seen someone who looks like a classical Greek deity.
2. "Can He Tell I'm Turned On?"
It's a relief that as a woman, you don't experience physical arousal in the same way men do. You wouldn't want to be embarrassed by having an erection in this situation.
3. "Thank Goodness I Look Good"
It's often the case that when you're feeling particularly unkempt or ungroomed, you'll unexpectedly come across an attractive man. On days when you've made an effort to look your best, it can feel like everything is going your way.
4. "Should I Go Talk To Him?"
If you don't make a move, you risk never seeing this man again. However, if you do approach him and start a conversation, you may discover that he has a less-than-desirable personality, which could shatter your perception of him. It can be difficult to know how to proceed in this situation.
5. "I Bet He's Already Taken"
It's not always easy to determine a man's relationship status just by looking at him, but you may still search for clues. If his outfit is coordinated and his watch is a high-end brand, you might assume that he has a partner who helps him dress or select his accessories.
6. "If He Doesn't Have A Girlfriend, He's Probably Gay"
It's a common belief that the most desirable men are either gay or already in a relationship. If this attractive man is single, he may be seeking a romantic connection with another man.
7. "Is It Love At First Sight?"
It's a long shot, but it's possible that this man could be the person you're meant to be with for the rest of your life. This encounter could potentially be a life-changing moment.
8. "There Must Be Something Wrong With Him"
If this attractive man is single and not actively seeking a same-sex partner, it's possible that he may have problematic personality traits such as misogyny, narcissism, or a fear of commitment. Otherwise, other women would likely have shown interest in him. It's rare to come across a handsome, single man who is available for romantic relationships.
9. "He Looks Just Like [insert Celebrity Crush Here]"
It's unlikely that this man is a celebrity, but you may still compare him to attractive celebrities in your mind in order to justify your attraction to him. This may help you feel less self-conscious about having a strong reaction to him.
10. "What If I Kissed Him Right Now?"
While you may not actually follow through on the idea, it can be tempting to skip the small talk and move directly to more intimate interactions. It's natural for anyone, regardless of gender, to have daydreams or fantasies.
11. "He Seems Like He Would Be The Best Boyfriend Ever"
It's not possible to know for certain what someone's habits or intentions are based on their appearance alone, but it's still natural to have romantic fantasies about a person. You may daydream about this man surprising you with flowers at work, bringing you breakfast in bed, or introducing you to his parents as the person he plans to marry someday.
12. "I Bet He Spends A Lot Of Time At The Gym"
Based on his physique, this man may be physically fit. You may be able to imagine the definition of his muscles under his shirt and daydream about him working out at the gym. It's not uncommon to have fantasies about an attractive person, including the possibility of being physically intimate with them.
13. "I Would Totally Shave My Legs In Winter For Him"
It's rare to feel such a strong desire to be physically close to someone that you're willing to go to great lengths to prepare your body for it. In this case, you might be so attracted to this man that you would even be willing to shave your entire body in the colder months to feel more confident and desirable around him.
14. "Maybe I Should Go Back On Birth Control"
Even though you're not currently in a relationship and haven't even spoken to this man yet, your attraction to him may be causing you to consider practicalities such as contraception. It's important to take things slowly and not get ahead of yourself. It's understandable to want to be prepared, but it's important not to make any hasty decisions without fully considering all of your options.
15. "Oh My God, I'm Going To Die Alone"
It's normal to have fluctuating thoughts and emotions when you encounter an attractive person, but it can be disheartening if you feel like a potential romantic connection is not a possibility due to factors such as being unable to approach the person or their already being in a relationship. It's important to remember that there are many other attractive people in the world and that it's a matter of being patient and finding the right person for you.
Why Can A Cute Guy Have Such A Hold On You?
Lust is a powerful emotion that can cloud your judgment and cause you to act in ways that are out of character. It's remarkable how strong the feeling of attraction can be, and it can be difficult to resist its pull.
1. Physical Attraction Sets In Pretty Quickly
If you feel like you've experienced love at first sight when you encounter an attractive man, you may not be imagining things. "People often make up their mind about someone within the first three minutes [of encountering them]," according to Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, senior research fellow with The Kinsey Institute, and author of Anatomy of Love: A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray.
2. It's Possible To Be Too Attracted To A Cute Guy
While scientists are not certain what causes sexual attraction to another person, it is known that the feeling can be intense and potentially overwhelming. "You can meet someone who unleashes the most elaborate sexual desire, but that person is probably not someone you should pursue, because the intensity of your sexual feelings likely comes from a primitive—and dysfunctional—set of feelings and beliefs," warns Seth Meyers, a clinical psychologist.
3. That Cute Guy Might Just Remind You Of Someone
One reason we may be attracted to certain people is because they subconsciously remind us of someone we care about, such as friends, parents, or even exes. "Subconsciously, hormones are activated because the other person has triggered some kind of similarity or resemblance," according to Beverly B. Palmer, a psychologist. While you may believe that you're attracted to someone solely based on their appearance, there may be deeper psychological factors at play. These may not be immediately apparent unless you engage in conversation with the person.
4. Lust Can Turn Into Love, But It's Not Likely
While you may be attracted to someone because of their appearance, that doesn't necessarily mean that attraction will translate into a successful relationship. "Lust is purely sexual attraction which is often accompanied by physical arousal. Lust occurs both within loving relationships and external," according to Haley Neidich, a psychotherapist and relationship expert. "Lust is a natural human occurrence. Lust is not always something we act on, it is a sense of sexual interest. Sometimes lust can lead to love and is often experienced within a loving relationship. However, the presence of lust speaks to absolutely nothing about partners' compatibility long-term."
Why Dating A Cute Guy Isn't All It's Cracked Up To Be
1. Everyone Thinks You're Punching Above Your Weight
One of the first things I noticed after entering this relationship was the change in the way people treated me. It was almost as if they were suspicious of me, as if they thought the only reason I was with this person was because I had somehow cheated or lied. It wasn't until later that I realized they were treating me this way because they didn't think I was attractive enough to be his partner. When people believe you're dating someone who is out of your league, they may assume that you've done something unethical.
2. People Stare At Him Constantly
As someone who considers themselves to be of average attractiveness, I was not prepared for the level of attention that my partner, who is very attractive, received. Whenever we went out in public, people would stare at us. It was as if he were a celebrity. It's natural to stare at someone who is attractive, but I started to feel like we were constantly under scrutiny and it made me feel uneasy.
3. You Still Have All The Issues Other Couples Have
It may seem obvious, but being in a relationship with a physically attractive person does not guarantee that the relationship will be successful. There will still be conflicts, misunderstandings, and moments of disappointment. You will still see each other's flaws and weaknesses. It's important to determine whether you are compatible with each other, regardless of your partner's appearance. The only difference in my relationship was the way other people reacted to it.
4. You Stop Seeing His Beauty Eventually
When you spend a lot of time with someone, it's easy to lose perspective on their physical appearance. While I was initially captivated by my partner's attractiveness at the beginning of our relationship, I eventually stopped noticing it as much. When I looked at him, I simply saw him. Other people would often comment on how handsome he was, but to me, his attractiveness was a combination of his personality and the positive experiences we shared, just as it is with any other person I've been in a relationship with.
5. People Will Hit On Him
I could handle the strangers staring at my partner and ignoring me, but what really bothered me was how often people flirted with him. Everywhere we went, women (and a few men) would make advances toward him. It was as if I weren't even there. They seemed to assume that because I wasn't as physically attractive as him, he must be searching for someone better. It was frustrating to feel like I wasn't seen or valued in these situations.
More Downsides Of Dating A Cute Guy
1. You Get Imposter Syndrome
The constant flirting that occurred in front of me made me feel like I didn't belong with my partner. I started to think that he deserved a girlfriend who was just as attractive as him. Despite knowing that it wasn't his fault and that I wasn't forcing him to be with me, I started to feel resentful. I felt like I wasn't good enough for him and eventually, I started pushing him away.
2. You Need Constant Affirmation
When you're in a relationship with someone who is very attractive and other people treat you as if you don't belong with them, it can be difficult to feel secure in the relationship. You may need a lot of reassurance and support from your partner to feel confident that they truly want to be with you. I'm usually not an insecure person, but being with someone who received so much attention from others took a toll on my self-esteem. At times, I even hoped that my partner would break up with me just to confirm my suspicions that he didn't really want to be with me. Despite his patience and support, everyone has their limits.
3. It's Hard Not To Be Jealous
It's natural to compare yourself to the people who flirt with your partner, especially if they are attractive or successful. You might wonder why your partner is with you and not them. Your self-esteem may suffer as a result. I became suspicious of one of my partner's colleagues during our relationship, only to later find out after we broke up that she was gay. It's ironic that the insecurities I had about my own attractiveness caused me to become the least attractive version of myself. It's important to remember that physical appearance is only one aspect of a person and does not define their worth.
4. Even Your Friends Will Be Weird Around Him
It's normal for your friends to be attracted to someone who is physically attractive, even if that person is your partner. It's important to remember that attraction is a natural human experience and doesn't necessarily mean that there is any wrongdoing. Fortunately, your friends will eventually lose objectivity and start treating your partner like a normal person. In my experience, this usually happened after a few months.
Rediscovering Your Self-Worth
After breaking up with my ex, I had a lot of mental and emotional issues to work through. While his good looks may have initially attracted me to him, they wouldn't have been enough to sustain a long-lasting relationship. In the aftermath of the breakup, I had to remind myself of where my true value comes from, as I had allowed my self-worth to become dependent on how others perceived me.
1. It Comes From Within
Self-worth is something that comes from within and cannot be fully recognized or appreciated by others until you acknowledge it in yourself. No matter how much positive reinforcement you receive from others, if you do not recognize your own value, it will never fully sink in. To truly recognize your worth, it's important to be self-aware, comfortable with your flaws and imperfections, and open to self-improvement.
2. It Has Nothing To Do With Looks
Observing how people treated my ex with such respect and admiration because of his physical attractiveness distorted my understanding of worth. I began to believe that worth was entirely based on appearance, and I started to feel like I wasn't attractive enough to be liked. I tried to alter myself to fit society's definition of attractiveness, but it never felt genuine. If only I had remembered that I loved my partner for who he was as a person, rather than solely for his looks. Perhaps I would have been able to apply that same realization to myself and value myself for more than just my appearance.
3. Other People Should Not Dictate It
Your worth is not determined by your appearance, your relationships, or your career. It is natural to compare yourself to others, but try to avoid judging yourself based on these comparisons. Everyone has their own unique path in life, and you cannot measure your worth based on the accomplishments or qualities of others. Once you understand this, you will feel a sense of liberation and release from the burden of constantly trying to measure up to others.