Masks slip away the moment things change. So, this isn't a love story, because it was never real love. But, who knew essential life lessons would come in the time of quarantine?
You think that you're a good judge of character, and it's not easy for others to fool you? Well, you cannot always be right, especially when you catch feelings. And during quarantine, we face some awkward, challenging moments. This is the ultimate test for every couple. I am consciously uncoupled, and I don't blame the virus.
When things were normal, before COVID-19 and quarantines, I felt lucky. I sort of believed that this might be real love. After over a month and a half, I now know that I fell in love with a selfish, spoiled man-child, but it is what it is. Here's what I learned:
People Wear Masks
The guy in question had everything: he was good looking, knowledgeable, and funny. He had a decent job and didn't mind my very eclectic nature. But, as soon as things got serious, I was no longer a priority. It was his job, and I got it. He was afraid that he'll lose it, but it's not like we were going to starve. So, yeah, it was hard, but it's not like I don't understand the basics of human nature.
What triggered me was his behavior. His bursts of rage, anger, and even breaking stuff, made me feel unsafe. I was doing my part: going to the store and taking the dog out. Also, I had to keep his spirit up, to make a fool out of myself, and entertain him. So, I was protecting someone who wasn't acting like a responsible adult. Great.
Lesson learned: when things get tough, masks slip. I am the one who can deal with the crisis, even though I am a generally anxious person, stuck in "what if" scenarios. A guy who had it all together was a jerk, and I, for the first time, was scared that he might do something to me.
Real Love vs. Infatuation
My dream partner (sort of) saw the real me for the first time. We were together 24/7, and I hated it. It was the first time someone asked me to dress up. Dude, it's a worldwide crisis, pandemic, I will wear freaking PJs and thank God that I am ok. I am not putting on makeup, pretending that I care other than wearing clean clothes.
It's hard to admit, but the guy was clearly into my looks. He didn't appreciate that I was staying calm and tried to work as much as possible. No, I can't cook, but I did my best. And yes, it's my dog, but please, he didn't even bother to take the little guy out once.
It's not like I stopped showering and became a couch potato. I merely stopped wearing any makeup, and my hair was always in a bun. Still is. So superficial! I am a person, so if you want perfection, buy a blow-up doll.
I thought it was cute that he was kind of jealous. He was mostly joking around. But, when you're together all the time, and you don't have a man, but a spoiled boy, he wants all the attention. So, he started giving me the stink eye whenever my friends Facetimed.
We survived three weeks, and I had enough. No one can order me when to talk to my friends and family. And no wonder people are joking that once this chaos is over, there will be many breakups and divorces. I can't imagine what other women are going through. I hope they have a support system, and I sound whiny even when I think about my vs. their situation.
The first sign of jealousy is a major red flag. So, it's more than a quarantine lesson. Anyway, I am lucky, since my family has my back. I could go on and on, about all the little, but still, important things that happened during a short time. From blasting the news, while I'm working, to insulting me for picking the wrong cheese. But life goes on.
Real love is kind, and it makes you feel safe. It makes you want to be a better person. If this didn't happen during the COVID-19 disaster, I wouldn't get to know his real nature until we had kids, probably. Ladies, keep your heads up and don't let anyone walk all over you, with or without the state of emergency.
Of course, I cannot feel grateful, because people are dying, and this isn't a joking matter. But, I am glad I got this experience. And I certainly will be more cautious when I meet someone new.