Putting My All In Relationships Almost Ruined Me

I take pride in the fact that I have always been someone who can stay without a relationship and sex for an extended period of time. Well, sometimes as my shadow abandons me in the dark, so does loneliness betray me, and I find myself on the same old track. When it comes to relationships, I usually end up choosing wrong. Thankfully, I am done trying to cross oceans for a love interest who would not even attempt to jump a puddle for me. Guess what? I feel so elated and proud of my decision. As a result, see the things I’ve been able to avoid:

This doesn’t just cut it. I quickly got frazzled after several attempts of putting myself on the dating scene backfired. A relationship should be all about compromise. You have to learn to meet each other halfway. It should be symbiotic; both parties give and receive an equal amount of everything that is vital for the survival of the union.

At a time, it gets overwhelmingly embarrassing, especially when it seems as though you are the only one doing everything to make sure what you are aiming to build doesn’t crumble like a pack of cards. I always detest forced conversations and feel as though I had to walk on eggshells around my partner. There were days I felt cornered like a cesspit rat. I believe in just being myself and letting things flow naturally. Putting myself out there makes me feel choked. I dropped the habit, and I am as free as a bird now.

It is no news that relationships are usually kept afloat mainly by the party that feels the bond of love the strongest. I hate to be Cruella de Ville. I never want to hurt anybody, nor would I want to be destroyed by someone I truly love. To avoid unions that can be likened to parasitism, I prefer to stay single and free of the endless drama. There’s nothing like having peace of the mind, right? Best feeling ever.

I noticed that my creative juices flowed less, my finances dwindled, and I lost interest in chasing my dreams and aspirations just because I had several thoughts of the one I love, occupy my mind. I found myself drifting into fantasy on so many occasions, painting picturesque atmospheres of how my dream home and family will be. I had to snap out of it because I realized that the areas of my life that needed my utmost attention were suffering. In a nutshell, I became a laggard. Right now I am single, and I am just having the best time of my life. I can finally take up the guitar classes I have been stalling for forever, and I can finally get to go on a vacation at Santorini in Greece.

Being in love is painstakingly time-consuming. As a modern-day woman, I realized I had bills to pick up, dreams to chase, and revamping myself. I am quite a busy woman. The time I spent being there for a lover would have gone a long way in helping me to groom myself. At a point, it felt like I was Atlas, the god who had the world on his shoulders. It finally hit home that time flies, and I had to get myself together by putting myself first. Ever since that time, I have been feeling the alleviation of the burdens which drowned me for a long time.

Yeah, I get it. I was once on this bandwagon. I used to dream of meeting my prince charming on any of the dating apps on social media. The dream fizzled out before it was brought to fruition. I am no longer impressed with telling someone I meet online ‘I love you’ or ‘I miss you.’ I am of the opinion that one cannot form real relationships through a mobile phone.

First impression matters, but this doesn’t apply to social media dating. Most people you meet are only fake. I don’t even want to get started on how badly my finger hurts after spending hours chatting with the cute guy I just caught up with on Instagram. I love the fact that I am no longer pressured to date a guy I perceive as lovely and sweet, on social media.

These are the few reasons I changed my lifestyle and stopped putting so much effort into relationships. Guess what? It feels incredible and amazing. For the first time in a long while, I feel like my best years are here.