The hard truth about relationships is that they will sometimes end. But when that moment comes, should you stay friends with your ex or completely forget about them?
Many psychologists advice against staying friends with an ex. Apparently, you should cut off ties completely.
Sure, it might seem like you should at least remain friends after sharing such an important part of your lives. But good science says it's not the thing to do.
If experts are right, completely cutting off ties with an ex is the way to go, and here are some reasons why.
1. Keeping an ex as a friend shows your inability to move on
Keeping an ex around usually sets the scene for emotional disruptions to your life. This has something to do with the fact that people remain friends after breaking up to avoid sowing more bitterness between them. That means the basis for many such friendships is not that healthy, to begin with.
Then there is also fear fueling these relationships. Since an ex might have been so significant in your life, you might naturally find it hard to completely cut them off from your life. The deep bonds you shared can make it difficult to completely let go.
This is wrong because the warmth of friendship will not make up for the sense of comfort you experienced while you were still together.
Consequently, many friendships with exes have everything to do with unresolved issues. In some cases, it could be that you still have mixed feelings about your ex.
But staying friends will make these issues worse as you will have a harder time overcoming them and moving on with your life.
2. The friendship will make things worse for you
You might think that a friendship with your ex will strengthen the connection between the two of you. But according to experts, it has the completely opposite effect.
And so, the best thing would be to move on completely and forget about the intimacy, memories, engagements, and the connection you shared. It is the best way to make sure that you can create a stronger relationship with your current or future partners.
Connecting with someone you once loved will put some pressure on you, and not the kind you would need in your life. This stress might even make you fearful of starting a new relationship.
Having a friendship with an ex can also make it hard for you to move on. For instance, you will keep on comparing your new partners with your ex, and that can ruin your relationships as you will always find problems in your new partners due to the comparisons.
3. It will make it hard to move on and get over them
As long as your ex is part of your life, you will have a harder time moving on and getting over them. That is because you will keep on thinking if maybe he/she deserves a second chance.
Over time, you might think that things have changed between the two of you and a relationship might actually work out this time around.
But one thing you should know is that healthy and strong relationships never have to break down in the first place.
If it was meant to be you would still be together. Any attempts at trying to reboot the relationship will inevitably cause more disappointment.
You have to ask yourself: is staying with an ex worth all this trouble? Short answer - no.
Get over them and move on. If it was as worth it as it seems today, it wouldn't have broken down, to begin with.