The dating world has changed significantly with the advent of social media, and while it has its benefits, it can also be confusing and frustrating. In the past, people didn't have to worry about the constant communication and updates on social media platforms. Instead of simply wondering if someone will call as promised, people now have to consider unopened Snapchats, strange Instagram DMs, and other forms of online communication. Social media offers many opportunities for people to feel either rejected or loved, depending on how their partner uses these platforms.
1. If he takes constant selfies, he'll love himself more than you
Men who are obsessed with their appearance often showcase this obsession on social media. If a man's feed is filled with numerous selfies and pictures of just himself, it may indicate that he prioritizes his own appearance over his relationship. If you're in a relationship with this man, it may not be prominently displayed on his social media. It's important to consider whether or not you are comfortable with your relationship not being a top priority before pursuing a relationship with someone who places such a strong emphasis on their own appearance.
2. If he's arguing with people on Facebook, he likes chaos more than comfort
It's normal to engage in discussions and debates on social media every once in a while, but if a man is constantly stirring up controversies on Facebook, it may be because he enjoys the challenge and attention. While it can be beneficial to have a partner who pushes your limits and helps you grow, it's important to find a balance. If a man is constantly seeking out conflicts and arguments on social media to the point where he needs to take a break, it may indicate that he is not comfortable with the stability and security of a healthy relationship.
3. If he's blowing up your profile, he'll probably be super clingy
If a man is overly eager to like everything you post, even the most mundane or insignificant updates, it can be a red flag. While it's sweet to have a partner who is supportive and engaged on social media, there is a point where it becomes obsessive and creepy. If a man is extremely quick to like or interact with every single one of your posts, it may be a sign that he is crossing boundaries and displaying unhealthy behavior.
4. If he's posting weird stuff, he's just straight-up weird
It's important to review a person's online presence before getting too invested in a relationship. A person's social media accounts are often a reflection of how they want to present themselves to the world, so it's crucial to ensure that their online persona aligns with your values and expectations. If something about their online presence makes you uncomfortable or cringe, it's important to consider this before moving forward with the relationship.
5. If he's always on the newest social media platform, he might be too concerned with what other people think
While social media can be enjoyable, it's important to also prioritize real-life experiences. If the man you're seeing is constantly posting updates on social media and is overly concerned with the latest Snapchat features, it may be a sign that he is insecure. Some people rely on their online profiles to gain a sense of control over how they are perceived by others. It may be better to wait for someone who is more confident and secure in themselves, rather than someone who is overly concerned with their online presence.
6. If he's constantly promoting his brand, he only wants to date you because you'll help his image
Many people strive to become "Insta-famous" and seek validation through the number of likes and followers they have on social media. If your partner is overly focused on accumulating likes and presenting an idealized version of their life online, it may be a sign that they are relying on social media for self-esteem. It's important to remember that you are more than just an accessory or prop in someone's online image. It's essential to find a partner who values and appreciates you for who you are, rather than using you to fulfill an online persona.
7. If he's liking tons of random girls' photos, he's gonna keep his options open
Even when you are in an exclusive relationship, it can be concerning if your partner's phone is frequently blowing up with notifications from other women. While it's normal for your partner to have friendships with other people, including women, it's worth paying attention to the nature of these interactions and whether or not they align with your expectations for the relationship. If your partner is receiving notifications from random women, particularly those who only post revealing photos, it may be a sign of potential infidelity. As couples therapist Theresa Herring notes, "Social media has made cheating more accessible. What starts as a harmless communication can spiral into a full-on emotional and/or physical affair." It's important to address any concerns or red flags early on to ensure the health and happiness of the relationship.
8. If he never posts photos with other girls, he'll probably never post one with you
If you have searched your partner's Facebook history and are unable to find any evidence of past relationships, it may be a red flag. If you know that your partner has had multiple past relationships but they are not reflected on their social media, it may indicate that they are not comfortable with online displays of affection. While this does not necessarily mean that they will be a bad partner, it may mean that they are not willing to publicly show you off or engage in PDA on social media. It's important to consider whether or not this aligns with your expectations and values for the relationship.
9. If he constantly posts photos of you two, he's trying to prove something
If a person engages in an excessive amount of online PDA early on in a relationship, it may be cause for concern. This behavior may be motivated by a desire for revenge or a need to prove something to others, rather than genuine affection for the partner. It's normal to be excited about a new relationship, but it's important to find a balance and not feel the need to constantly flaunt it on social media. Excessive bragging or attention-seeking behavior can be a red flag and may indicate underlying insecurities or a lack of genuine connection with the partner. It's important to consider why your partner feels the need to constantly brag and whether or not this aligns with your expectations and values for the relationship.
10. If he displays normal social media behaviors, he'll probably be a normal boyfriend
If your partner occasionally updates their profile picture, tags you in relevant posts, and likes your updates, it may be a sign that they are displaying normal social media behavior. On the other hand, if you find yourself questioning or worrying about your partner's social media habits, it may indicate that there are underlying issues. If you are unsure whether your partner's behavior is normal or not, it's important to consider your own doubts and concerns and whether or not they align with your expectations and values for the relationship.
How Social Media Can Affect Your Relationships
It's natural to try and interpret your partner's social media posts as a way of gaining insight into your relationship, but it's important to also consider the broader impact of social media on your relationship. How you and your partner use platforms like Instagram and Facebook can have implications for your relationship beyond just romance. It's important to think about how social media may be impacting your communication, trust, and overall connection with your partner.
1. Too much focus on what's happening online hampers your social intelligence
Spending a significant amount of time interacting with people online can make it harder to connect with them in person. According to expert and author Leslie Shore, "research shows that, on average, we spend two or more hours a day on social media." Shore warns that relying on social media to foster relationships can have negative effects on our relationships offline, stating that "those who have limited experience in reading people do not have the same level of social intelligence [that] previous generations possess. If this becomes the new normal, building strong, deep relationships will take more time and will be more difficult to maintain." It's important to balance digital interactions with in-person communication and make an effort to build and maintain strong, deep relationships.
2. Social media distracts us from the people we care about
It's common to be reliant on our phones and other devices, but our addiction to technology can sometimes have negative consequences. As expert Leslie Shore notes, "the holds our devices have on us is invisible until someone actively calls [it] to our attention. It is almost impossible to create or enhance relationships when social media is, in the first place, taking our time and attention away from who is in front of us." It's important to be mindful of how our technology use may be impacting our relationships and make an effort to prioritize in-person communication and connection.
3. It can take the place of real, meaningful communication
It's easy to default to social media or messaging as a means of connecting with others, but expert Leslie Shore advises that we make an effort to actually reach out and make plans to meet in person. She advises using our phones to call people and make concrete plans rather than relying on digital communication. As Shore advises, "stay truly connected to those who matter. Don't wish your family a happy birthday on Facebookâpick up the phone or make the trip to see them. Instead of sending invites, thank you cards, and holiday cards online, send your loved ones something they can keep forever." It's important to prioritize in-person communication and connection with the people who matter most to us.
4. You end up trying to live up to an unattainable ideal
Seeing idealized images of couples on social media, whether they are influencers or celebrities, can affect our self-esteem and expectations for our relationships. According to relationship expert and certified counselor Jonathan Bennett, "men and women are constantly being shown images of what the 'ideal' relationship looks like, and this can put a lot of strain on relationships that don't live up to the ridiculous standards set by celebrity couples." This can cause unnecessary tension in a relationship and lead to feelings of resentment if a partner fails to live up to the unrealistic expectations set by social media. It's important to remember that social media often presents an idealized version of reality and not to compare your relationship to these unrealistic standards.
5. Of course, it's not all bad
A significant portion of the population uses social media and many people have turned to online dating as a way to connect with others. This is particularly important for marginalized groups or those who may be isolated due to various circumstances. As Don Grant, Ph.D., chairman of the American Psychological Association's Device Management & Intelligence Committee notes, "it's truly amazing that those who are challenged with social anxiety, geographic isolation, fears, insecurities, physical issues, and myriad other real struggles, can now find connection and relationships. Social media can help to remove barriers and allow people to connect despite challenges they may face in the real world."
