In my 20s, marriage is the last thing on my mind. Even if I were to meet the most perfect partner tomorrow, I'm just not ready for that level of commitment. I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling this way, as your 20s should be a time for self-discovery and building a fulfilling life. Of course, dating during this decade is still important, but I believe marrying in your 20s is a misguided choice. Here's why:
1. You Don't Know Who You Are
How can you make a lifelong commitment when you're still figuring yourself out? Before you get defensive, hear me out. It's not a bad thing to not know who you are yet; you simply haven't experienced enough of life. There are too many identities to try on and too many experiences to have before you can settle on who you are. You have plenty of soul-searching left to do. While your current identity may be in love with Brian, your next one may be interested in a David instead. It's just too soon to say.
2. You Already Have Too Much Going On
Your twenties can be tough as you navigate the many decisions that come with adulthood. Whether you're choosing a college major, searching for a job, or trying to figure out where to live, there's a lot on your plate. Adding a relationship to the mix only brings more stress and drama, and you've got enough to deal with already. Trying to do everything at once means you'll have to sacrifice something, and that's not a good idea. Wait until you have a handle on things before you start looking for a partner.
3. It's Your Time To Be Spontaneous
One of the best things about being single in your twenties is that you're in complete control. Want to spend two weeks binging Netflix? Go for it! Feel like moving to another state on a whim? You can do that too. You have the freedom to do whatever you want, without having to consider anyone else's feelings or needs. Marriage comes with a lot of responsibilities, and it means sacrificing some of your independence. Take advantage of this time in your life when you're free to explore and experience new things.
4. Your Emotions All Over The Place
Your 20s are similar to your teenage years because your emotions can shift quickly. One day, you may want to settle down, but the next, you might be planning to travel solo around the world. That's the beauty of being young. Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and it's too early to make such a significant decision. Your 20s are all about being free and adventurous, and you can change your mind whenever you want!
5. Marriage Is Not Adulting
People may tell you that you're an adult now, but you may not feel like one yet. It's an awkward stage that all young adults go through where you don't feel like a child, but you don't feel like a grown-up either. It's easy to want to do something that makes you feel like an actual adult, but getting married is not the right option. The true definition of #adulting is going to work, drinking wine on weekdays, and spending too much time at Costco.
6. Your 20s Are For Dating
Dates are essential, so become a serial dater! You are intelligent, educated, and, most importantly, you look fabulous. These are your prime years, so don't waste them! Use this time to explore the dating scene and figure out what you like and don't like in a partner. Remember, you need to date in your 20s because it's a crucial part of growing up.
7. Your Finances Aren't The Best
Let's face it, your finances aren't looking great right now. But who can blame you? Nobody taught you what a "student loan" was in college. Don't worry about being broke at this age - embrace your poverty! In your twenties, it's perfectly acceptable for your parents to cover your monthly gym membership or phone bill. Getting married in your twenties means adding more bills to your already heavy stack of unpaid expenses. You won't just be broke, you'll be broke with your spouse - not a recipe for success.
8. Divorce Is Very Common
Frankly, the high divorce rate should make you think twice before rushing into marriage with someone you've only been dating for a couple of years. Two years may seem like a long time, but it really isn't - especially at this stage of your life. You haven't experienced enough to know what you want in a partner. You may be in love and feel like you've found your soulmate, but if that's the case, why rush into marriage? Slow down and hold off on saying "I do" - if he's the one, he'll still be there a few years from now.
9. You're Trying To Find A Career
The job market is already tough, with employers requiring three to five years of experience for entry-level positions (seriously, what?!). Being married will limit your options even further. You won't be able to try out different jobs because you'll need a steady job to pay the bills and provide benefits. If your husband already has a job in Chicago, you won't be able to move to Arizona on a whim. Your twenties are for figuring out who you are and finding your career path - don't let anyone or anything influence your choices.
10. You Need To Learn To Be Okay Alone
If it wasn't clear, I'm not a fan of getting married in your twenties. Marrying early means you'll never experience being alone. If your relationship ends later in life (which we hope it doesn't!), you won't know how to be independent. You spent your formative years exploring your relationship instead of discovering yourself. In my opinion, it's important for women to be comfortable being alone before entering into a relationship.