Although codependency is commonly associated with romantic relationships, it can also occur in friendships. You might be currently in a codependent friendship without even realizing it since they can be all-consuming and go unnoticed until someone confronts you about it. Thus, how can you determine if you're in a codependent friendship?
1. You Know Where She Is At All Times
You can effortlessly list everything your friend has been up to since they left work, without skipping a beat. You even have knowledge about what they will have for dinner because you discussed it earlier in the day.
2. You Can't Make Decisions Without Her
No matter if it's purchasing a dress or deciding whom to date, you find yourself entirely reliant on her guidance, and unable to take action independently.
3. You're Emotionally Invested… To A Fault
It's normal to care and care deeply about someone, but it becomes problematic when your own emotional well-being relies on your friend's emotional state. Here's a reality check: You are not Elliot, and they are not ET.
4. You Are Each Other's Number One Priority
You not only prioritize her over all your other friends, but you also prioritize her above yourself and your own necessities. Essentially, you would willingly offer her the last slice of pizza even if you were famished.
5. You Spend Your Moments Apart Obsessing About What She's Doing
Even though you and your friend keep each other informed about your activities, it doesn't prevent you from fixating on her. Do you wonder if she's thinking about you at this very moment?
6. You Get Jealous Of Other Friends
In the event that your friend hangs out with a colleague or, heaven forbid, a new acquaintance, you feel compelled to warn them to stay away. You view your friend as taken, and you're not one to share, period.
7. You Can't Think Of A Future Without Her
Although you envision yourself settling down with a spouse and two children someday, your friend is still a constant presence in your future plans, perhaps living in the neighboring house.
8. You're Basically Identical At This Point
You seem to have a fear of rejection if you don't share complete similarities with your friend. Consequently, you modify your thoughts and personality to gain her acceptance.
9. You Don't Have A Social Circle
In the past, it might have been the case, but not anymore. You have convinced yourself that your codependent friendship is sufficient for your needs.
10. Your Day Is Made When You Help Her
Your existence is given greater significance simply by resolving the perplexing question of whether your friend appears more attractive in blue or green.
11. You're Prone To Destructive Behavior Together
The phrase "partners in crime" takes on a whole new significance when it comes to the two of you. Engaging in mischievous activities together feels natural and justified.
12. Boundaries Don't Exist
While every relationship should have boundaries, those in a codependent friendship may react with confusion and say, "Boundaries? What boundaries?"
13. You're In A World Of Your Own Together
It's not solely about lacking other friendships, but rather being so engrossed in each other's lives that it's difficult to distinguish where one person's identity ends and the other's begins.
14. You Have A Higher-than-normal Opinion Of Each Other
You firmly believe that neither you nor your friend can make any mistakes. In fact, you are convinced that the two of you are superior to everyone else in the world.
15. You're Constantly In Contact. Non Stop
If it were possible, you would send text messages to each other even in your sleep.
16. You Never, Ever Get Sick Of Each Other
Becoming tired of each other is entirely inconceivable to the point that when people ask if you ever grow weary of each other, you're taken aback and can't comprehend why they would ask such a ridiculous question.
17. You Stress Out About Something Bad Happening To Her
It's not merely the pain of losing her that troubles you, but the mere thought of living without her is enough to induce a panic attack. It's something you simply couldn't handle.
18. You Seriously Wonder How You Existed Before Her
That is, assuming you permit yourself to envision a life without her, a place that is emotionally difficult to contemplate.
19. You've seen Heavenly Creatures and said, "OMG, that's us!"
Heavenly Creatures, directed by Peter Jackson, and starring Kate Winslet and Melanie Lynskey, is inspired by the real-life account of two best friends who plan and execute the murder of one's mother, who was attempting to keep them apart. Given that it is directed by Peter Jackson, you can anticipate that it's an excellent movie.
