Desere DavisPublished in June 2020 / Updated in December 2020
Some children can throw tantrums that scare even the most self-disciplined adult. And then there are tantrums thrown by adults. If there is one type of person that can throw a tantrum, it is a narcissist.
What Is A Narcissist?
Narcissists are very self-absorbed and selfish people who know the art of manipulation and uses it to their advantage.
If you ever find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist, consider cutting ties immediately. Nothing good can come from such relationships. At least, not for you.
This kind of person is not only selfish but don’t have the ability to empathize with others.
That means they will use and abuse others with no remorse. They won’t think twice about discarding people who no longer have any use to them.
Also, these people will do whatever it takes to keep control of a situation and a person. And that includes throwing a tantrum.
Of course, this tantrum won’t look the same as the one you’ll see from a 3-year-old. But it has the same purpose: to get their way.
There are other ‘tools’ in the kit of a narcissist, and if you want to know if you’re dealing with one, keep reading. We’ll discuss their other behaviors.
This kind of puppeteering is also called triangulation and it is what narcissists use to remain in control of a relationship. They will manipulate your emotions by bringing a third person into the relationship.
This is a trick to provoke jealousy, and almost always works.
It can also be a way to move away from responsibility, such as when a narcissistic friend involves someone else to help deal with your problems after you asked for help.
Narcissists are always wearing masks and you won’t likely get to see the ‘real’ person. They know how to act and behave to get people to do what they want them to.
To appear normal, they wear masks that fool others into thinking that they are normal.
People who are in relationships with narcissists will try to rationalize their behavior but there is no rationality. Sadly, this hurts the other person more than it will ever hurt the narcissist.
Idealise, Devaluate, Discard
You will more commonly find this behavior in a romantic relationship with a narcissist. However, it can still happen in platonic friendships and it can be damaging regardless of the nature of the relationship.
The relationship starts with idealisation when the narcissist makes you think you are being idolised.
You’re the most important person in their life. This, of course, isn’t true. To the narcissist, they are the only important person.
Then, things change. Flattery and praise will turn into jabs and criticism.
The value you felt you had to this person seems to decrease. Nothing you do will be good enough anymore.
Emotional and psychological abuse is always present during the devaluation phase and it can leave scars that may never heal.
And finally, the discarding. You will be tossed aside as if you never mattered. Once you are no longer of any use, the narcissist will move on to his or her next ‘victim’.
This usually means the end of a messy relationship.
If you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist, do yourself a favor and get out before you’re left with heartache and scars.