New Breakthrough: Semen May Actually Cure Depression In Women

A new study reveals that semen can help cure depression in women. The properly articulated research by experts further explains that the said semen has to come as a result of sexual intercourse. This rules out the possibility of you going to a sperm bank and filling out an Rx form.

All in the name of science?

One of the reasons this study has to be taken seriously, think of all the men who dedicated their time and …well natural resources to this study for the sake of science. We need to give them a round of applause.

You are probably asking, is there a need for safe sex?

The obvious answer is yes! We haven’t given you the go-ahead to go and have unprotected sex simply because it has been shown to cure depression in women. There are STD’s out there that can probably kill you faster than depression. Always make sure that you both get tested first just to be on the safe side.

How does it work?

According to a study, semen has been shown to stimulate the frontal cortex. After you’re done with oral sex, research has shown that the levels of oxytocin are off the charts and your IQ levels shoot up by at least 10 points.

Is a hand job equally good?

Ladies, hand jobs have been shown to make you even more depressed. So stay away from giving him a hand job if you don’t want to feel worse. Experts say it makes you even more depressed.

What are the other benefits of semen?

One of the ladies who took part in the study states that after giving her boyfriend a regular blowjob she never had to wear any contact lenses again. Her vision improved miraculously. So you are probably wondering if this were actually true, wouldn’t it have been published in reputable medical journals for the whole world to know about it.

Well, the answer is pretty obvious, who do you want the pharmaceutical industry to sell their antidepressant drugs to if you all are going to take some doses of semen? The industry would probably make a huge loss, and that is not good for business.

Also, don’t be surprised that some of the CEOs of these pharmaceutical companies are in bed with these lawmakers. It will therefore not come as a surprise if they outlaw oral sex.

Have you ever seen a depressed pornstar? This is yet another proof that oral sex and semen really help cure depression in women. Semen can also be used to make babies — please refer to your biology class notes.

This is a new breakthrough in the medical industry indeed. Many women are silently suffering from depression out there and they sure need to know this. Semen has been proven to cure depression in women and so oral sex is recommended for you ladies. Better safe than sorry, go to your doctor together with your partner and have both of you checked out and screened for any STDs. This should be done before you engage in oral sex. Be healthy, stay healthy, and free from depression.