It's not that it isn't easy to spot or recognize a narcissist. The difficulty is in finding the courage to get out of their control and power. Narcissists are uncannily manipulative, heartless, and parasitic.
The sad part is that they've got their victims trapped in a spell of fear, humiliation, and self-defeat. They trick their victims to give up and transfer power to them. Once they have your trust, they will instill the false idea that you are perpetually powerless without them.
Transfer Of Power
Transferring power means you give up your identity to suit their idea of who you are and what you should be. They urge you to give up who you are. Who you are is someone deserving of love and respect. You are someone capable of making the right choices for your own health and happiness.
Narcissists are after their own happiness alone. It takes more for them to be happy than for a healthy individual. They need extensions of themselves to feed off others' time, energy, talents, money, and resources.
False Ideas Of Love
Narcissists will feed you false ideas of love and will lie for their own benefit. They have no qualms distorting the truth if it means they will get their own way. They are compulsive in nature in that their own perspective and desired outcomes are the only ones that matter.
At all costs, their approach is suave and deceitful. For narcissists, people do not exist. People are mere extensions of themselves. If they find you useful, they will take control of your thoughts and identity. The goal is to use you for their own benefit.
Superior And A Cut Above the Rest
They will calmly observe you work out problems. They will not in any way volunteer any part of the solution. If you fail to solve the issue, they will blame it all on you and rub their superiority in your face.
The thing about narcissists is that they are addicted to control. They are detached from feelings and seek what is only beneficial to the detriment of others. Their confidence is outright and intimidating. It means they discourage confidence in others and want people to doubt themselves.
The Cycle Of Abuse With A Narcissist
The cycle of abuse in a relationship with a narcissist relentlessly goes like this -
Wrought with a deranged and manic sense of control and confidence, the narcissist subtly and directly attacks the identity of their victim.
They devise schemes and tactics to make themselves appear superior, better, and indispensable.
Once they've proved very useful and reliable to their victim, they start a mechanism of doling out their confidence and approval in a pattern that, if you look closely, the victim is performing for the narcissist's satisfaction.
The stage is set so that the victim desires to serve the happiness of the narcissist. The narcissist's happiness becomes their personal idea of happiness as well.
If the victims are extensions of a narcissist's benefits, the narcissist becomes the whole world for the victim.
Cut the narcissist in the victim's life and they feel an endless sense of unworthiness to receive love from others and an inability to have independence over their life and resources.