OMG

My Underwear Are Always Wet For All The Wrong Reasons

The sexy line 'are you wet?' has taken on a new meaning for me since my bladder control has become weaker and my discharge has increased in volume. While my underwear may be wet, it is not due to arousal.

1. It's Ruined That Sexting Tactic For Me Forever

Sexting can be uncomfortable, and when a guy asks me if I'm "wet," it often elicits a laugh from me. This tends to make the situation even more awkward, as laughing, sneezing, and even coughing can all cause moisture down there. For me, being "wet" is not inherently sexy, and it's often a sign that the guy is not ready for the real, more lubricated version of me. In hindsight, this can be a useful way to filter out guys who are not a good match for me. On the bright side, there is always a silver lining.

2. It's Even Worse In Summer

The hot weather only makes my wet underwear situation worse, as sweat is added to the mix. While it's reassuring to know that other girls probably experience the same issue, even if it's only during certain seasons, it also makes it more socially acceptable for me to change my underwear during the day in the summer. My boyfriend does this too. In the winter, I'm a bit more discreet about changing my underwear.

3. It Started When I Noticed All My Black Underwear Had Turned Orange

I first realized that I had a weak bladder when I noticed that all of the gussets on my black thongs had orange stains on them, even after washing. After doing some research online, I discovered that the cause was the ammonia in my urine and discharge, which was bleaching my underwear. While it's not the most pleasant discovery, it's good to know that if I ever need to dye a black garment orange, I have a natural source at my disposal.

4. I Thought This Was Something That Would Happen When I Was Older. Like, A Lot Older

I never thought I would experience this problem in my late twenties. I feel quite isolated and sometimes feel like I would have to go to a nursing home to find someone who can relate to what I'm going through. While it can be embarrassing, I try not to worry too much about something that is ultimately insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

5. Realistically, I Need Three Pairs Of Underwear Per Day

It takes a lot of laundering to keep up with my underwear alone in one week. I should consider buying stock in washing powder. I used to enjoy going without underwear, but that's not an option anymore unless I can somehow make a constantly wet crotch fashionable. I suppose anything is possible.

6. I'm Never Ready For Spontaneous Sexy Time

I always have to be mindful of my weak bladder. If I'm considering a spontaneous sexual encounter, I make sure to change my underwear first, just in case. My mother always taught me to carry a fresh pair of underwear with me, in case I got into an accident. While I'm not sure they would be particularly useful in that situation, the habit has served me well with my increasingly weakened bladder.

7. I Feel Very Alone In This Sticky Situation

Aside from a group of elderly women, I feel like I'm the only person in my age group who suffers from this problem. It would be nice to find someone to laugh about it with. I've never talked to my doctor about it, but the internet tells me that it's a legitimate issue that other people experience as well. It's just that I don't personally know anyone who has this problem.

8. If It's Bad Now, Is It Going To Get Worse?

I worry that my weak bladder will get worse and that I'll become incontinent by the time I turn 30. The thought of having to wear adult diapers is not appealing, and it's not how I imagined my life turning out. While my irrational brain tells me that this is something I should be seriously considering, my rational brain reminds me that I might be overreacting.

9. Strengthening My Pelvic Floor Isn't Something I Have Time For, To Be Honest

I know doing Kegels is discrete and nobody would even notice, but seriously, who has time for that? Even just trying to remember to do them is enough to be exhausting for me. They also make me feel kind of funny. They don't hurt but it's not a comfortable feeling. I can perform about five Kegels before I get bored and just give up. It's diapers and panty liners for me now!