My Tinder Habits Are None Of Your Business: Hook-Up Or Not

My Tinder Habits Are None Of Your Business: Hook-up Or Not

I shouldn't have to defend my tinder hookup to you.

There are some things in the world that warrant judgment. Wearing crocs with socks. Library book fines. Slow walkers. Whoever oversees Trump's Twitter account. Murder. In no particular order.

One thing, however, that does not merit criticism – is my dating habits. Not least, my dating profile or the hookup culture that I'm part of. Why? Well, regardless of your personal opinions or held beliefs, my life is none of your business. It has absolutely nothing to do with you unless I make it so or ask your opinion. If I ask your opinion and we're friends and this is coming from a place of love and in my own interest, fair enough. Otherwise, keep your mouth shut, respectfully.

So what if I don't want a 'relationship' at the moment?

Haven't you noticed that the men on the market at the moment are a little 'ew'? I say that with full acknowledgment that the girls are just the same. I've seen all the profiles out there.

It's the same reason girls my age go for older guys. If they want a relationship, that's where to go. If you need the appearance of emotional and social security, that's where to go.

When we say we like older guys, we aren't talking about an alien species. It's just a time jump that brings a little patience and support. We deserve the best. The right guy – who will treat you the way you deserve – is out there for you. There's no reason you should pressure yourself or push for what you aren't ready for. Don't worry about what other people are doing around you – they don't matter.

Seriously, it's your life that you need to live – not theirs.

You can't judge your success on their terms or constantly be comparing yourself to them because then you can never win. Or feel satisfied. That will be because you are living your life by other people's timelines and stressing yourself needlessly over something over which you have little control. Emotions and the heart are liable at any given moment in time to do whatever the hell they want. Therefore, it stands to reason that we are sort of wasting our time trying to fit into someone else's template.

As soon as you accept that you aren't in a rush to find your forever relationship in the first guy you come across as a teenager, the better you can assess the situation. I retain to this day that Romeo and Juliet would have never happened if they hadn't been 13 and 18 and very stupid. I mean, bless them, obviously – but a little common sense and patience for the future go a long way.

It's great. It's just not for me. Not yet, anyway.

If relationships aren't working for you at the moment, think about why. It's often the age range you're looking at. There's nothing wrong with you, either. People are constantly worried about whether they are behind or ahead in the cosmic game of life markers that we are constantly surrounded by in the media. You can't go three paces without a Facebook engagement announcement or honeymoon insta spree. Sometimes, that's just not where you're at. That's perfectly chill. It's better that you don't waste any more of your own time. Or indeed, the guys your own age.

So, if you see me walking home an evening, either presume I'm walking my dog to settle your own conscience or leave me to my own devices.

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