I found myself in a slump with online dating, and my dates were becoming uninteresting. With no energy or time to find someone new, I began to feel like my male roommate, who was going through a similar experience. It became apparent that we could be the solution to each other's swiping woes.
1. We Lived In The Same House
Sharing a house with close friends made it easy to see each other regularly, whether hanging out at home or grabbing a meal or drinks. The convenience of having my friend with benefits living across the house from me eliminated the need to ask the question, "Your place or mine?" It was a perfect arrangement.
2. We Were Already Really Good Friends
During our time in college, we shared a few classes and even worked together for a period. Even before becoming roommates, we had already established a great friendship. Living together was a breeze, except for the occasional disagreement over whose turn it was to take out the trash. We never had any fights or arguments and always showed each other respect. We had supported one another through difficult work projects and breakups. Essentially, our strong foundation of friendship paved the way for intimacy.
3. We Were Both Sick Of Online Dating
I wanted to avoid hooking up with strangers but wasn't ready to commit to a serious relationship. Friends-with-benefits seemed like a good compromise, but finding a suitable partner was too much hassle. When my roommate complained about Tinder, I suggested we abandon the app and continue our mutually satisfying arrangement without the need for swiping.
4. It Was Fun Keeping A Secret From Our Other Roommates
One of the most thrilling aspects of our relationship was the secrecy from our other roommates. The adrenaline rush of sneaking across the house to slip into his bedroom in the late hours of the evening, hoping not to run into anyone, was exhilarating. Even more exciting were the daytime trysts when other roommates were present, and he would peek out the door to ensure no one was nearby. It was enjoyable to walk around the house, acting as if nothing steamy had just occurred.
5. It Wasn't That Hard To Meet Up At 2 A.M
The early morning booty call was a much more desirable alternative to the usual 2 a.m. texts, whether due to boredom, the need for a break from studying, or difficulty falling asleep. There was no need to get dressed or drive across town. Simply walking down the hallway, already without a bra (because home is where the bra comes off), and knocking on his door made the whole experience feel sexy and thrilling in a way that a random hookup couldn't match.
6. We Were Comfortable With Each Other
As previously mentioned, we were excellent companions. The term "bro" had become a habit for us, and we addressed each other that way as if we were close friends. To be honest, we really were! Aside from my best female buddy, he was my go-to person when I needed to confide in someone about my problems, anxieties, aspirations, and ambitions.
7. I Didn't Care What I Looked Like Around Him
Since we lived together, I didn't care if he saw me in my sleepwear and mascara smudged on my face after three days without washing my hair. I didn't have to worry about shaving before we got intimate. It didn't matter if I was wearing my granny panties because they were coming off anyway!
8. We Had Such A Great Time
The sexual encounters were amazing. It's incredible how your perception of a friend can change, and you suddenly realize how attractive they are. We were comfortable enough to express our desires in bed. He knew exactly how to please me in all the right ways. We would work up a sweat, then laugh and act goofy afterwards.
9. We Could Tell Each Other Anything
Our FWB setup wasn't completely uncomplicated, and our close friendship made things even more complex. There were moments when I wondered if we should try being in a romantic relationship. I had to come clean to him after a few weeks of being FWB and admit that I had feelings for him. Initially, he laughed it off, but when he realized I was serious, he told me that he didn't want to risk ruining our great friendship by dating. I was initially hurt, but I respected his decision and didn't want to jeopardize our friendship either.
10. We Cared About Each Other
We were each other's best friend, and our relationship was built on caring for one another. We believed that you could have great sex with someone you cared about without being in a committed romantic relationship. When he left to be closer to his family and start his career, I was thrilled for him. We still keep in touch and catch up every now and then. Even though it was brief, I look back fondly on the time I spent with my best friend with benefits.