My Relationship Is Starting To Feel Like More Of A Friendship And It's Kinda Weird

Initially, my boyfriend and I were friends, but now we have started dating. However, I am beginning to realize that we are better suited as platonic friends rather than being in a long-term romantic relationship. Our dynamic feels more like two friends spending time together rather than a traditional boyfriend-girlfriend dynamic, which feels a bit strange.

1. Every romantic relationship should have a solid foundation of friendship, but there has to be something more

It's difficult to break the pattern of being best friends when you start dating. You get so comfortable teasing and joking around with each other that you can forget there's a deeper level to the relationship. Although we had an instant connection when we met, I'm starting to realize it was more of a friendship connection rather than romantic love.

2. We don't really go on dates

Our relationship feels like any other best-friend pairing. We spend time playing video games, ordering in, attending parties, playing frisbee in the park, and having movie nights. He seldom plans romantic evenings out for us as it seems too over the top and cheesy for our casual relationship. It appears there's a good reason why committed couples put effort into their relationships.

3. We don't call each other pet names

We never use terms of endearment like "babe", "honey" or "darling" with each other, which feels strange. It's not that I'm against using cute names, but it just doesn't feel natural when it comes to him. In fact, it's more awkward than anything else.

4. We hang out with the same people

As we share the same group of friends, it's effortless for us to switch to friend mode when we hang out with them. We don't want to make things awkward by showing too much affection in front of them. Although it doesn't bother me, I know it affects him. Whenever we're in a group, he focuses his attention entirely on his friends, and I become just another buddy. While I'm okay with this, it raises questions about our relationship.

5. He calls me "dude"

When we were just friends, we used to call each other "dude" and "bro" as a joke. The issue now is that he still does it, and I can't tell if he's joking or not. It used to be funny, but now that we're in a relationship, I have a negative reaction whenever he calls me "dude". I just don't like it! Note to all guys out there: no girl enjoys being called "dude", "man", or "bro", particularly when you're dating her. It makes me feel like I'm just a friend when I'm supposed to be more. It's very confusing.

6. We go dutch 95% of the time

He hardly ever pays the bill, even though we're still in the courting phase. It's not like we've been dating for a long time, but he still wants us to split the check just like we did when we were friends. It would be great if I could feel like we're on an actual date for once. I'd love it if he took the initiative to make plans, take me out (even if it's not somewhere fancy), and covered the bill at least once.

7. sex is funny to us

We find it challenging to take each other seriously in bed, primarily because we were friends for so long before becoming a couple. It's as if we're mocking those who engage in sex instead of approaching it seriously. Perhaps we're just being immature, or maybe we're genuinely better off as friends.

8. We don't really have any expectations of each other

Unlike how it usually is in a romantic relationship, I don't have the same expectations from my boyfriend. I don't anticipate him to bring me coffee or be punctual when meeting me, and I don't sense a strong sense of loyalty and devotion to each other like most couples. It's almost as if we don't belong to each other in a typical "couple" way.

9. We're awkward with PDA

I believe we're still scared of getting judged by our friends for displaying our affection for each other. So, we continue to act like mere friends when we're in public, rarely holding hands or being affectionate. However, I hope this changes soon.

10. He thinks most things other couples do are cheesy

We both feel a bit awkward about expressing our romantic feelings, but my friend is particularly averse to it. Whenever we engage in anything that's even slightly lovey-dovey, he'll exclaim, "Oh my God, that's so corny!" While I understand that he's just joking around, I take matters of the heart seriously. As a result, we didn't celebrate Valentine's Day, and anything that even hints at romance causes him to roll his eyes. It's challenging to maintain a romantic connection with someone who used to make fake fart noises with their mouth.