The statement "Anyone would be lucky to have you" is often used by guys as a means of comforting women, particularly after a relationship ends. However, when my boyfriend said it to me, it caught me off guard and prompted me to end the relationship right away.
1. Anyone would be lucky to have me… except for him
I was anticipating a qualifier like "Anyone would be lucky to have you… especially me!" at the end of the sentence, but it never came. The empty space at the end of his statement conveyed his feelings towards me more effectively than any words could. If he believed that anyone would be fortunate to have me, why didn't he include himself in that category?
2. It's such a cliché line and I've heard it a dozen times before
I've heard that line countless times from guys who rejected me after a few dates because we didn't click. They would shower me with compliments, saying that I'm a great catch for any guy except for them. I don't want to hear such remarks from my significant other because it usually signifies that the end of our relationship is near.
3. I already knew that any guy would be lucky to have me and I didn't need to be reminded
Hollow compliments don't impress me. I am aware that I deserve love and respect as an individual and have a lot to contribute to a relationship. I had to put in a lot of effort to achieve this realization, and I am now confident about it. So, what was his intention in saying that?
4. It doesn't actually mean anything
Does my worth as a person hinge on whether any random person on the street would be fortunate to have me? What makes me so desirable to others? Is it my self-sufficiency, my sense of humor, my culinary skills, my ability to change a tire, or my exceptional listening and advisory abilities? My partner seemed unable to identify precisely what about me made "anyone" so fortunate.
5. I didn't want just anyone, I wanted him
When my partner told me that anyone would be fortunate to have me, it signaled the impending end of our relationship. He was attempting to ease me into it, making it easier for me to accept by implying that it wasn't my fault since I was such a great catch.
6. I'm not the first woman he said it to and I won't be the last
I wish I could gather all the women who have been subjected to this awful line in a room and let them voice their grievances. I suspect my partner had used this phrase before, and I'm sure he'll use it again. If it was true that anyone would be fortunate to have me, then I shouldn't have had to worry about my partner not wanting me. The fact that I did worry indicated that something was amiss in our relationship.
7. I didn't see him match his actions to his words
I am aware of my strengths and weaknesses, as well as my abilities and flaws as a partner. My partner complimented me by saying that I was a great catch, but he didn't really back it up with his actions. He didn't seem to be putting in much effort to demonstrate that he was among the many who would be fortunate to have me as their partner.
8. I deserve way, Way more than just anyone
While a random guy on the street might be lucky to have me, the question is, would I be fortunate to have him? I deserve more than a guy who has nothing to offer me but is content to enjoy the perks of being with an awesome woman like me. I am deserving of someone who will meet me halfway in a relationship and treat me the way I deserve.
9. Turns out, I was the unlucky one
What I required was a partner who was committed to being equal in the relationship, someone who was fully invested like me and not already looking to exit. I didn't have any room in my life for a person who was already prepared to abandon ship, so I took the initiative and left first.
10. From now on, I'm raising my standards
I'm already aware of what qualities make others fortunate to have me, that's not the issue anymore. What I need to discover is why I'm lucky to have my partner and what they bring to the relationship. If nothing else, I now understand what I deserve in a relationship and won't settle for anything less.