Life has been a mix of pleasant and hateful memories for me when it comes to the subject of a romantic relationship. I have had my share of tears and pains from hurtful partners. I have had sleepless nights thinking about things I would have loved to see in my boyfriend. Fantasies that seemed far from reality whenever I cross-checked them with experiences I have had in dating men. I thought my desired man would remain a dream forever, as men I've dated have always been the opposite of what I thought my man should be to me.
I was already walking out of my last relationship with my mind made up to shut the door against every other man. Then, he came knocking. What do you think my response to him was? Of course, a NO!!! NO to dating! NO to relationships with men!! NO to romance and love!!!
And definitely, NO to him!!!
I didn't give it a thought when I shut the door on him. But he wouldn't leave. He kept knocking, and his style was so fascinating that though I was not going to open for him, I still will not deny him my attention but with a ready-made answer in my heart, a NO!
Undeniably, I knew he sounds like he possesses the features I have fantasized about, but I did not want to take a chance. I said to myself, "the door is shut already." Little did I know that I no longer have the keys to the lock. My mouth was firm at the NO, but my heart was already whispering something different. I soon could not hold onto my decision any longer. I really cannot explain how it happened, but he won my heart and my undivided attention.
I AM IN LOVE!!!
Yes, I didn't like my past relationships, but this guy seems to be different from the previous guys. He gave me everything I wanted from my man. Now I wish he had come earlier, but he came in as the last man that surpasses all of the men that came before him. Let me say some things about you, my new boyfriend.
1. You came at the right time
I don't know if you are a God-sent, but I know you came exactly when I was about to make the craziest decision of my life. I was about to throw in the towel as far as dating is concerned. I was going to say a forever goodbye to relationships when you walked in and held me back from shutting the door. Though I hated to see you, I couldn't deny you a conversation.
2. You care for me
Life has said to me that no man can show me the care I deserve because my demand is beyond supply. I was told that I am overly outrageous in my expectations, and no man will be willing to care for me as I wanted. I have been starved of care as a lady until you came knocking. Your first offer to me was CARE.
How did you know I have wanted this all my life? Who told you about my need? How come you did not offer me something else first but care? I thought it was just a coincidence at first, but you have not stopped showing me care. You always tell me how much I deserve it even when I felt you should not bother. I see how you consider me in each of your decisions, and you always want to see me satisfied. You just make me swim in the ocean of love.
3. You are a complete man
I've always heard of what real men look like, but I've never experienced one before. I've loved to have it happen to me, but it has always appeared as "Never!!!". Sometimes I felt I was lied to by my thoughts and desires of my mind. I almost disapproved of every lovely thing I have heard about what a good man looks like.
I thought I was being deceived until you came into my life. You came so completed that I need not bother about complementing. You know your role as a man without being told, and you have always occupied your seat well and better than any man I have ever known.
4. You always surprise me
Though I have always thought highly of you and expected amazing things from you as you have ever done, but you are fond of surprising me. You always come up with surprises that transcend my expectations of you. Even when I say imagine the biggest surprise you could come up with at any time, you will take a step beyond my imagination.
What a darling you are!
5. You are my desire
You are everything I've looked out for in every man I've dated. They all showed me that I was hallucinating, but you proved them all wrong. You speak to my heart as though you could see my heart's desire. Your actions are too intentional to be real, and your reality is beyond expression. I would have given up on my dream, but you showed up as my dream.
6. Now I can imagine my wedding day
Every time I have seen people plan for their wedding day. I have even had to join my friends to arrange things for their wedding party, and they always say that I am a good wedding planner. But it has always looked like I cannot do better than planning weddings for others. I was not thinking about my wedding day until you came up with the subject of the marriage.
Now I can't stop picturing my wedding day. I can see the venue of my wedding ceremony decorated with colorful flowers and the seat arrangements are lovely. My family and friends are seated in the auditorium and you (my groom) looking towards the aisle in anticipation for the bride to come in as an arrival of an angel. I can see that smile that always lightens my day on your face. The joy in me has no measure; I soon will be called the newest bride.
7. Please don't leave me
Many times I ask myself if I could live without you. I tried to imagine it, but I was hurt in my imagination so much that I don't want to imagine it anymore. Life was awful before you came in, and you brought me into a different world entirely that I soon forgot my ordeal. I need you to stay with me forever.