Despite being in the honeymoon phase of his recent marriage, my ex-boyfriend has chosen to spend his time harassing me via text at all hours of the night. It was surprising that they got married at all, considering that he had cheated on his now-wife with me while she was out of the country. Although she forgave him and they got engaged soon after, their seemingly perfect family life contrasts with the reality of my phone history.
1. I've Asked Him To Stop Countless Times
Although I have been happily taken for a while, my married ex continues to text me at odd hours, despite being aware of my current relationship. While I may have been the other woman when he was dating his now-wife, I would never consider pursuing a married man. Despite repeatedly asking him to stop, the messages are not incriminating enough to expose his true character as a terrible person, which became evident only months after his wedding day.
2. I Feel Guilty Even Though I'm Doing Nothing Wrong
Although I've forgiven myself for being involved in his infidelity, I regret hooking up with him in the first place. He sees me as the kind of girl who doesn't mind being a mistress, which makes me feel disgusted. It bothers me that he thinks about me while he's out drinking with his buddies.
3. He's Done This Before, But I Thought Marriage Would Change Things
My ex had left me alone after confessing his infidelity to his then-girlfriend. However, when he heard that I was in a new relationship, he became interested in me again and began sending flirtatious texts. Despite his engagement, he continued to message me every few months.
4. I Worry About The Vibes I'm Giving Off
I may be overly paranoid, but I can't help but question why he assumes that I'd want to receive suggestive text messages in the middle of the night. Even when we were sneaking around, our relationship was typical and not particularly thrilling. I had hoped he would leave his girlfriend for me, but when he didn't, I moved on. It bothers me that he still sees me as the same naive girl I was back then, despite my growth.
5. I Don't Know If I Should Confront His Wife
The woman he cheated on his wife with is still in contact with him via text messages. While part of me would enjoy exposing him, the larger part of me is horrified by the thought of ruining their marriage. I can only imagine how upset his wife would be if she found out about his behavior.
6. My Guy Is Understandably Uncomfortable
My boyfriend has always been accepting of my flaws and my past, which I appreciate. However, he is bothered by the fact that a married man continues to send me text messages at night. I have been truthful with my boyfriend about this situation from the beginning.
7. I Want To Know What His End Game Is
Although I know I should block his number, I am intrigued by what he has to say. Does he believe that I will have an affair with him again? Is he feeling regretful about the choices he has made in his life? I would feel a sense of satisfaction if he expressed remorse, but I also recognize that it would be unhealthy to continue communicating with him.
8. I'm worried he'll take it a step too far
Ignoring his messages has become my default response; I don't even bother asking him to stop anymore. I simply delete them, hoping he'll eventually give up on me. However, I can't help but wonder if his frustration with my unresponsiveness will push him to escalate the situation. Although I'm not particularly scared of him, his persistent behavior does unsettle me at times.
9. This Situation Has Been An Interesting Dose Of Reality
As a young girl, I had an idealized perception of marriage and its significance. I believed that it meant putting on blinders that would shield us from any temptations. Marriage was about creating a tunnel vision between me and my partner, with no one else interfering. However, I now realize that the success of a marriage depends on the individuals involved. While it's an exciting new chapter, it doesn't wipe the slate clean.
10. Single Scumbags Are The Same As Married Ones
If growing older, finding a wife, and becoming a father couldn't motivate my ex to mature, then I doubt anything else will. Perhaps only after losing everything due to his immature behavior, he'll finally start seeing things differently and develop some wisdom.