Sex wasn't a top priority for me and my husband knew it. However, after being married for four years, our unexciting sex life began to impact our relationship. To try to improve things, I turned to reading online erotica. It was through this that I discovered the website also had private messaging, and that's when things took a turn.
1. It was simple to initiate
While engrossed in an enticing story, a pop-up appeared, inviting me to chat with another user. Curiosity got the best of me, so I clicked "Accept." The man on the other end wasted no time and started describing what he wanted to do to me. Before long, I found myself responding and getting increasingly aroused. The passion was so intense that when my husband came home, I immediately jumped him. He was thrilled that I was initiating sex and didn't suspect a thing.
2. I loved that I could reinvent myself every day
After my initial experience, I became addicted and started messaging people every day, indulging in their sexual fantasies. The anonymity was liberating, allowing me to embody different personas, from a lonely housewife to a powerful businesswoman, innocent virgin, or dominant/submissive, all at once. I would have my secret fun with strangers and then enjoy intimacy with my husband every day. It was the ideal sexual balance.
3. It felt good to be desired
Sexting made me feel incredibly desired, and the fact that no one knew what I actually looked like only added to the excitement. Strangers left messages on my profile page and hinted at what they would do to me if given the chance. The whole experience was superficial, but that only made it better. Even though it was based on an illusion, the confidence and sexiness I gained from it carried over into my real life.
4. I figured it wasn't cheating since it was anonymous
While it may be a controversial viewpoint, I believe that if your partner is okay with watching porn, they should be fine with anonymous sexting as well. My husband and I have a very open relationship, and we're both comfortable with using toys to masturbate and watching porn. Just to be sure, I asked him how he would feel if I called a phone sex line or engaged in anonymous sexting, and he immediately gave his approval. It was like interactive porn, with no emotional attachment, and therefore no drama. In fact, he even encouraged it!
5. Even though he was theoretically OK with it, I still did it behind his back
After discussing the matter with my husband, I felt relieved of any guilt and planned to continue sexting. While I hadn't told him that I was already engaging in the act, he had given me his approval, so I saw no reason to worry. However, I soon realized that I only sexted others when my husband wasn't home, and this began to weigh on me. I started to wonder how I would feel if the roles were reversed. Ultimately, I realized that I was doing something behind his back, which made me question myself and opened up the possibility of him doubting the strength of our relationship.
6. I got caught… and it went better than I would've anticipated
It wasn't a surprise when my husband unexpectedly came home one day and found me with three chat windows open, completely naked from the waist down. I didn't know how he would react, so I stood there silently as he read each message. When he finished, he looked up from the computer and said, "Wow, babe, this is really hot." He loved that I was engaging in fantasies with strangers, but I apologized for not being honest with him earlier. Fortunately, we talked it out and he forgave me for being secretive, but asked that I be more open with him in the future.
7. Being discovered led to a more exciting sex life for us
Following our conversation, I noticed a change in my husband's behavior during sex. Instead of silently directing me or responding to my requests, he began to ask about my day and the fantasies I had indulged in. He even requested specific details, and as I shared them with him, I could tell he was getting more and more aroused. Before long, we had replaced our usual dirty talk with details of my recent sexting encounters, which only added more excitement to our sex life.
8. Him knowing about my sexting habits was such a turn-on
During the times when my spouse wasn't around, I found myself sexting and anticipating what it would lead to when we were together again. However, after a few days, I began to notice that I was becoming aroused even before logging onto the site. I was so excited to see my husband that my body was already preparing for him. As time passed without using the site, I realized that my sexual desires were still present, but now directed solely towards my husband. I wanted him, regardless of any external stimuli.
9. We played out some of our deepest fantasies
Despite decreasing the frequency of sexting with strangers, the ideas and fantasies shared on the site sparked a newfound creativity in my relationship with my husband. We started to explore some of the wild ideas and turned them into realities, which brought us even closer together. Even when my husband was away, I would send him naughty messages, pictures, and videos. We even started to indulge in public displays of affection. Our sex life became more thrilling and kinky than ever before.
10. We delved deeper as a couple
After losing interest in sexting with strangers, my husband and I decided to explore sexting with other couples. We discovered a group chat on Kik where we engaged in a virtual orgy through text messages. Though we are still navigating our way through it, we are enjoying the experience of being involved with people who are open about their sexual preferences and provide thrilling ideas to keep the spark alive. While we acknowledge that sex is just one aspect of a healthy relationship, it is a significant part that we had been neglecting. In a strange way, sexting with strangers helped reignite the flame between my husband and me and boosted my sexual desire.
