My partner has hit a breaking point with his job. He's not fairly compensated, undervalued, and his abilities are constantly taken advantage of by superiors who don't acknowledge his efforts. Many people in our generation can relate to his frustrations. However, his dead-end career is beginning to harm our relationship significantly.
1. He brings the negativity home with him
Sharing frustrations with those who care can be helpful and prevent a possible outburst, which is not suitable in a professional setting. I don't mind hearing about my partner's work issues, but it seems to be the only thing we talk about. As a result, I've stopped discussing my own work achievements as I'm concerned it might exacerbate his current situation.
2. He won't accept my help
He freely shares all his problems with me once he's done with work, but often rejects my suggestions. Whenever I propose a course of action, he dismisses it and carries on with his venting.
3. He won't help himself
The power dynamics at my partner's workplace seem to be a significant issue. He's a kind and docile person, working alongside aggressive individuals who will do anything to get ahead. He avoids creating any unnecessary tension, but this also means he seldom stands up for himself or raises concerns when he's not acknowledged for going beyond his responsibilities.
4. He has no energy left for me
After he shares all his work-related frustrations, he appears drained and disengaged. It seems like there's barely any time left in the day for our relationship. He'll seek distractions like watching TV or playing video games, and before we know it, the night is over, and we're going to bed. Unfortunately, our sex life has taken a significant hit because of his job insecurities.
5. He can't do anything drastic
My partner is facing a difficult situation. He supports his young son from a previous relationship financially, and we're both saving to purchase our first home together. Despite his desire to speak his mind to his bosses about their business practices, he can't afford to quit his job impulsively or leave dramatically.
6. His self-destructive behaviors are getting worse
Upon our engagement, my partner and I committed to reducing our wine consumption and increasing our physical activity, in preparation for our wedding. However, things took a turn for the worse at his workplace, and he started to come home and immediately pour himself a glass of whiskey. Our exercise routine was quickly replaced with indulging in bad movies and unhealthy food.
7. He has a bleak outlook on his future
Whenever my partner experiences a particularly bad day at work or is unsuccessful in his job search, he expresses defeat by exclaiming, "What's the point?" It's evident that he's not optimistic about his future, and some of the things he says are hurtful, particularly given that we're getting married shortly.
8. This is not the man I fell in love with
When I first met my partner, he exuded so much joy that I initially thought he was pretending. However, I eventually realized that he genuinely possessed a positive outlook on life and saw the best in people. While I didn't expect him to be happy all the time, the man I once knew has disappeared since he became aware that things at work wouldn't improve. He's now a shadow of his former self, and it pains me to witness.
9. He was there for me when I went through this
During a year of our relationship, I lost three jobs and felt completely incompetent, as if the universe was conspiring against me. I would return home in tears and often remain in bed for days. In hindsight, I regret feeling sorry for myself instead of applying myself more in my career or seeking better job opportunities. Nonetheless, my partner stood by my side throughout the whole ordeal, supporting me until I eventually emerged from my funk and began pursuing work that I was passionate about.
10. I need to be the strong one now
When I went through a rough patch, my partner was my rock and supported me every step of the way. In turn, I plan to be there for him until he finds a workplace that values his contributions. While I now recognize that careers are important, they shouldn't consume every aspect of our lives. For the time being, I'm committed to finding ways to help him overcome his difficulties.