Am I supposed to feel flattered that my ex put in so much effort to check up on me? No way, I'm thoroughly disgusted and angry. It's unsettling that he confessed to receiving updates about me from mutual acquaintances and individuals I didn't even know he was connected with. Who in their right mind behaves like that?
1. Our mutual friends were mostly to blame
It may be unfortunate, but my tendency is to distance myself from mutual friends after a breakup. The reason being that my ex often gathered information about me through these individuals whom we both knew and enjoyed spending time with. By continuing to communicate with them, I inadvertently made it effortless for him to obtain updates. Now, I'm wary of them potentially siding with my ex rather than supporting me.
2. He knew about stuff I shared on social media even though I'd unfriended him
At first, I didn't bother removing anyone I met while with him, thinking there was no harm in keeping my new friends. However, it became clear that many of them only cared about him when my ex referenced a Facebook post I had set to Friends Only. This alerted me, and I swiftly eliminated any possible link he might have had to me on all of my friend lists.
3. "Friends" I'd rarely talked to suddenly wanted to get closer
Initially, I dismissed the situation, unaware that one of the girls was his ex who was attempting to rekindle their relationship. Perhaps she believed that spying on me would win him back, which is ridiculous. If my ex ever asked me to spy on someone, I'd probably just reject him and leave. It's best to stay away from friends who suddenly want to become closer to you after a breakup without a clear reason.
4. He randomly showed up to the places I went despite living far away
Despite my ex moving approximately 100 miles away a week after our breakup, we still seemed to run into each other a few times every month, even at places he never went before. It turns out that his informants were keeping him informed about my activities and plans. While this was just a minor factor in our separation (he wanted to move, and I didn't), I learned never to reveal my plans to anyone unless it was necessary.
5. He ruined all my relationship prospects
I guess I should thank my ex for this one. If a guy isn't confident enough to discuss any rumors with me before ghosting me, he's not worth my time. However, it seems that whenever I began dating someone new, they would vanish without explanation within a month. I used to believe it was simply bad luck, but my ex finally confessed to arranging meetups with my new boyfriends to spread falsehoods about me, which I didn't have.
6. My friends started canceling our plans way more often
Although I understand that people have busy schedules, I found it peculiar how frequently my friends would cancel plans we made. Later on, I discovered that my ex had convinced them to either cancel or alter the plans if he didn't want me to participate. Is it any wonder why we ended up breaking up?
7. He started the same career as me
Before our breakup, he had never expressed any interest in my career path. However, after we separated, he enrolled in the same major as me and even began participating in my part-time job to increase our chances of seeing each other. While he was aware of my primary profession, he had no knowledge of the second one. I suppose confiding in my so-called friends wasn't the wisest decision after all.
8. My co-workers started to get extra friendly
It took me more than a year to realize that my co-worker, who began working just a month before our breakup, was one of my ex's informants. Apparently, he believed that I was becoming too close to my male colleagues and had assisted her in obtaining a position at my workplace to monitor me. Disgusting, isn't it?
9. My blind dates were actually his friends
I must admit that he was thorough in his surveillance. He went as far as monitoring my dates. Fortunately, the blind dates were not very clever, and I discovered within a week that they were acquainted with him. The moment they mentioned his name, I promptly ended the date. What's worse is that I still noticed some of their vehicles passing by my house every so often, stopping for a few minutes, and then leaving.
10. He knew everything I'd done over the course of several years
Whenever I saw him, I usually avoided him. It just seemed easier that way, especially after I found out about his spying, which he denied at first. It took several years, but I finally confronted him. I asked him questions he had no business knowing the answers to, but of course, he did. He knew about my accomplishments, my dating history, my favorite restaurants, and so on. It took some time, but I have finally removed almost all traces of him from my life. What a nightmare.