My Boyfriend's Mom Is Way Too Involved In Our Relationship And It's Getting Weird

There are numerous benefits to dating a mama's boy. For one, you can be sure he has a strong regard for women, values the importance of family, and possesses excellent manners due to his upbringing. Nonetheless, if his bond with his mother is overly tight, it may seem like you're in a relationship with both of them, which isn't what you bargained for.

1. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled they're close

My family holds significant importance to me, and it's crucial that my partner shares a similar closeness with their own family. I appreciate that my significant other isn't hesitant to seek support from his mother, despite being a grown-up, and that she showers him with unconditional love. It brings me joy to know that he treasures their bond, and I feel content knowing that his mother and I will remain the two most influential women in his life.

2. It means so much to me that she loves me

I've had the unfortunate experience of facing disapproval from a partner's family, and it was far from enjoyable. Therefore, I'm delighted that my current boyfriend's mother has welcomed me with open arms and genuinely cares about me as an individual, not just as her son's girlfriend. She takes an active interest in my life and has made it evident that even though I have a great relationship with my own mother, she's always there for me as well.

3. I feel infinitely closer to him because of her investment

When someone keeps you out of their personal and familial life, it can be challenging to establish a deep connection with them. However, my boyfriend has been candid and forthright about his bond with his mother since the beginning, and witnessing their relationship has enabled me to develop profound and rapid feelings for him. Observing them together and comprehending the significance they hold in each other's lives has strengthened my affection for him.

4 Still, at the end of the day, I'm dating him, not her

While I adore my boyfriend's mother and their bond, there are times when it seems like I'm dating them both. She calls whenever we're together and anticipates being informed about every minor aspect of our relationship. Although I'm happy to send her adorable pictures of us, I shouldn't have to provide her with a detailed account of every weekend, should I?

5. No mother should text the girlfriend asking to talk to her son

I understand that there might be urgent situations where a parent needs to reach their child, but texting me to locate him when he hasn't replied to a message sent just seconds ago feels excessive to me. I assure you that he'll respond as soon as he's able, particularly if it's critical. It'd be preferable if I wasn't the immediate backup plan when only a few minutes have passed since she last attempted to contact him.

6. She's planning our honeymoon before we're even engaged

I'm confident that he and I will eventually end up together, but it feels slightly unusual that his mother has prearranged our entire future. She has already selected our honeymoon destination, and he hasn't even proposed yet. While we're in no hurry to get married, she's already discussing diamonds and weddings.

7. It bothers him as much as it bothers me

It's evident that her excessive involvement in our relationship bothers me, but I don't believe I'm being unreasonable since it annoys my boyfriend as well. As much as he cherishes his mother, he often rolls his eyes when she behaves overbearingly and absurdly concerning our relationship. It's not that he doesn't appreciate how much she cares about him, but he recognizes that we're adults and she needs to loosen her grip a little.

8. There's obviously no way to tell her to lay off

His mother will always be his top priority (at least until we tie the knot and start a family), and we realize that asking her to back off would be hurtful for her. It's possible that she might become upset and cut us both out, which nobody wants. Even if she felt remorseful and vowed to do better, I'm skeptical that she would be able to take a step back.

9. I know this is better than us having no relationship at all

I have many friends who yearn for a relationship with a mother, whether it's their own or their partner's, so I realize I should consider myself fortunate. I don't overlook the fact that she wants to be a part of my life and our lives as a couple, but it's challenging to strike a balance between including her and keeping a safe distance.

10. Lord help us when we have children

If she's already this involved, what will happen when we start a family? While I'm appreciative of her help with wedding planning and future newborns, I can't shake the thought of her moving in or living nearby, and it terrifies me. We can be grateful for her assistance while maintaining our independence and privacy.

11. For now, I'll try to remember that she means well

Ultimately, I recognize that she loves her son and only wants the best for him, so I do my best to be empathetic. Her curiosity probably stems from her happiness that he found me, so I don't want to offend my future mother-in-law. As long as we continue to be content as a couple, I can try to remain at ease. However, when I have children, I'll make sure to maintain some distance.